Eating my problems

For a long time, I have had problems during or shortly after eating. This is definitely in the too much information category so I’ll spare you the details. Suffice it to say there was a lot of intestinal upset and extreme discomfort to deal with. I spent years trying to figure it out. First with my doctor, then on my own.

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No, I am not allergic to anything, it was not any particular restaurant, food item, cooking oil, it was not dairy, nothing like that. I relentlessly checked and researched everything it could be. I wanted to get to the bottom of it. I knew there was something worth discovering besides the obvious physical relief.

My research involved tracking when I ate, where I ate, how I ate, what was going on in my life that day. The whole shebang. My research showed that meal time was often the only time in my busy day I could relax. So I sat there in a daze, eating my food way too quickly and unconsciously, solving any problems on my plate. Going from being married to divorced and on your own means you are the only landlord, plumber, doctor, electrician, carpenter, bookkeeper, veterinarian, and fixer of problems at your household. There was much to think on. I came to call this unconscious and hurried consumption eating my problems. This was not a good way to take in nourishment! But there is more to it than that. This was the beginning of the solution to a long-term problem.

The realization that my GI tract was super sensitive and had a purpose beyond its normal function unlocked a lot of mysteries from my life. As a child I was swallowing those pink Pepto Bismol pills like candy. Children shouldn’t need to do this! I would run to the medicine cabinet downstairs to get them just in time to avoid an upset. This was usually while my parents were having a blowout. A typical week brought many of these upsetting verbally abusive, violent events. Looking back I must have been in great distress. And since my mother had her hands full dealing with the violence and atmosphere on her own, I could not always run to her for comfort.

If you have read my blog, you know by now my credo of Everything is Energy. A book I read that reinforces this in terms of your body being a large antenna for energy and vibes is The Tao of Equus: One woman’s journey of healing and transformation by way of the Horse, by Linda Kohanov. I highly suggest it as a great metaphysical, spiritual, horse, history and mythology lovers read. One of her main observations about the horse is, their largest, most accurate physical sensing tool is their gut. Their miles of intestines are super sensitive to energetic vibes all around them. Horses are, after all, prey animals and are always looking for danger in their natural environment. This concept can be easily understood and applied to the human as well. I too relied on this large sensing organ. My gut always told me if things were good or bad, safe or unsafe. It was my litmus test for life. It was my most reliable tool.

As a newly awakened, highly sensitive empath and intuitive, I now realize how easily I can be upset by, or in tune with the vibes, the atmosphere in a room, being in close proximity to anger, an argument, or fear. This really affects me greatly, and much more so than I realized. I knew our bodies are great antennas for picking up on all energies because I had my own personal proof. Almost all intuitive communications, for me, are sensed this way first—unless I’m asleep and dreaming. It is a good thing really. I can fine tune where I spend my time, how long I stay in a place of anger or bad vibes. I can sense if I am in good company or really good juju. So, for my new life, this gut sensing thing was working for me. But what was happening to this wonderful sensing tool of mine that I was in such distress? Was I misusing it, misunderstanding it, or on overload?

I knew the energy angle would tell me what I needed to know. As my research progressed, I felt like I was taking in bad energy, or too much disjointed, wiggling, frenetic vibes when I ate. I also discovered that in cases of high, happy energy, eating made me even more sick. I realized part of the problem was beyond being able to sense things energetically. I had to be more mindful what I do with this energy. NOW we are getting somewhere! Almost there!  Continue reading

That damned coconut tree

Over the years I learned to handle drama and chaos as best I can. I teach classes on handling it, because I lived through so much of it and found a way to deal with it. In the years during The Big Change, I was able to piece together a road map for my survival. So far, so good. Life is as good as it can be and I’m a happy camper. But, I didn’t get this way overnight. It took work. It was fun at times, but still took some shifting and tweaking each time I encountered a bit of drama or chaos here and there.

When you are dealing with chaos or drama, think of surfing. Learning to surf the waves, the ups and downs of life, can be hard at first. If you wipe out a lot, it sucks. Then with experience you don’t wipe out so often, you become stronger. Your muscles acclimate to this activity, and you actually have fun even if you are paddling out to sea to catch waves, or coming in after a good afternoon out. Your life will be better learning to handle drama and chaos—the ups and downs. The reality is, no one can totally get rid of drama and chaos from their lives. It will try and seek you out, no matter where you go. Be prepared. Know you can handle it and not get hooked. Be the space for anything playing out before you. Calm your inner vibe, go with the flow, etc. The more you practice, the less hooked you will get. You get the picture.

What I advise people is, if you try and totally avoid drama, it will find you. Let’s say you are sick and tired of all the drama and you want to opt out of it. Yes,  you can learn how to deal with it, but if you want to not be bothered by anyone and never have any more drama, I’m telling you, the Universe will send stuff your way. You can’t run and hide from it. You may need to learn more about how the inner you handles life, so lessons come your way compliments of The Universe. Life in general can be chaotic and dramatic, because, well, human beings are involved.

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Just for fun, let’s say you are on a deserted island all by yourself, happy as can be and you don’t want to be bothered. You are determined to be left alone, not wanting any more drama or chaos. There is a coconut tree on the island. Just you and that tree. For sure the coconut tree will start giving you shit, just to keep you in the game. It will start dropping coconuts on your head. It will move if you want to be in the shade. It will somehow end up being a source of grief for you. That’s how life is. Expect it. And I don’t mean in any sort of fatalistic way at all. I mean in a way that has you happily prepared to deal with whatever life throws you. Because there are ups and downs to all things in life. It’s a rhythm. Yin Yang, good bad, off on, light dark, happy sad. This advice is for people that believe if they live alone, don’t go out much, and don’t bother anyone, they will have this get out of jail free card for drama and chaos. Not so. Things happen. Learn to deal with it in a better way. Learn to surf. You will be better for it. You will have less stress, less angst, and feel freer and happier as you ride out life’s low spots.

When ‘shit happens’ I vow to get better at not getting hooked, at standing aside, at being the space for, and letting the drama play out without me involved as much as possible. It’s an art form. But since I’m human, I don’t always behave the way I’d like to. I never plan on doing badly, but sometimes I get caught up in things despite my best efforts. So when I get hooked, it’s humbling, but I remind myself I have to get better at handling that damned coconut tree. Piña colada anyone?

On being stuck in traffic

A good playground for being totally present and going with the flow in a chaotic situation is in heavy traffic. This was one of my biggest ah-ha moments ever. I had gotten off work early one day. It’s a rare treat to get off work early, so I ran a few errands downtown. I rarely go south of where I work, so a trip to downtown usually is a headache. This was the perfect day for it! After my errands were all run, I wanted to get home quickly. That should be easy at 3pm, right? Wrong! For some reason it was a very early rush hour and this really soured my mood. It takes an hour to get home as it is. How could I be stuck in traffic? It’s a lovely day and I want to be home quickly, enjoying the sunshine and my animals!

During this rush home, I was listening to a favorite guru, Eckhart Tolle on my iPod. He was talking about presence in the moment from his book The Power of Now. One of my favorite passages is where he talks about not resisting what the present moment brings. I was wholeheartedly agreeing with him about being in the present moment one minute, and complaining loudly to myself about the non-moving traffic the next. [Angrily] “How unfair life is that I’m stuck in traffic on such a gorgeous day!” [Happily] “Yeah, live in the moment as if you accepted it yourself!” [Angrily] “What is with this traffic?”  

I did this mental and emotional badminton a few times until…Shazam…I realized what Eckhart Tolle meant about not resisting what the current moment brought, and laughed at how silly I was being. All this time I was agreeing with the author about living in the moment, and the next thing out of my mouth was a complaint about what was happening. I knew it was time for me to stop complaining about anything. Complaining is non-acceptance of What is. This goes against all my new found philosophies of going with the flow, avoiding chaos, etc. 

That was a defining moment, and a really big insight into my mind chatter. I found I could make that change inside and live a happier life on the outside. I immediately switched to a relaxed mood, turned up some good music, and enjoyed the sunshine and beautiful skies. I sent a good feeling to other cars around me and relaxed. I realized I had been making myself miserable for no good reason. Now it didn’t matter if I was ‘stuck’ in traffic or zooming along the road. You get to choose the mood of the current moment, regardless of the outer circumstances. This makes everything in your life much smoother, happier, easier to experience. Fun even! 

Through the Law of Attraction, we attract what we are signaling. Our inner vibes and energy signals what we want more of. Now I get it. Now it makes sense to me. I was complaining, frustrated and angry. If I continued down that road, I’d only be experiencing more of the same. This was like finding a key that fit every door!

Try using slow traffic as a way to practice mindfulness and patience. Another way I practice patience is to think of the worst scenario of being late. For me, that’s being late for or missing a flight. Even in that instance, you can catch another flight. Maybe you might miss an event. When I feel panic about missing, let’s say, an important event like a wedding, I remind myself that everything happens for a reason. Everything has what I call, divine right timing. Relax and enjoy the moment. Since you are not curing cancer, don’t sweat it! You could be delayed by Spirit because there may be an accident ahead. There are many reasons to just go with the flow and trust in divine right timing of all that is unfolding around you.

 

What is co-creating?

I don’t remember when I first heard that term, but I was not sure I understood exactly what co-creating meant. So, take off the cowgirl hat and put on the detective hat. It started with my first basic observation that everything is energy.

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We live in, and are part of something I call Universal Flow. Once I was more in tune with this flow, I learned to recognize intuition, how it manifests, and how to use it. By using my intuition through paying attention to how it manifested in my body, using the Law of Attraction, and asking for and receiving guidance from Spirit, I started consciously co-creating. I developed my skills with routine, everyday tasks to build on my experience. Now it’s as easy as breathing.  Continue reading

Be the space for

What does that mean, to be the space for something or someone? For me, it means detaching from the drama, the chaos, and the emotionality of what is unfolding. It also means to hold space for what is occurring to let things be for the highest good for all concerned, without your personal bias. It’s on an energetic, vibe level that you are holding space. That’s holding space or being the space for something or someone.

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Being the space for two people, let’s say two good friend who are arguing, would be to detach emotionally, stay present, send love and don’t hope for any particular outcome. Remain neutral as possible while supporting the space for this to occur. It is very important to make sure you are not biased in the outcome whatsoever. Make sure it is for the highest good of all concerned.  Continue reading

What exactly are vibes?

Yes, I use fluffy words like vibes, energy, and intuition. That’s part of who I am after the big change after my divorce. I am a changed person for the better, but man it was hard work and very humbling. Yet a big part of me is the same old Pat. Back to the subject at hand. Vibes and energy are a big part of the new me and my new knowledge and experience. The following is what I have learned through experience.

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Certainly vibes are part of the energy all around us, part of the Universal Flow of energy, and part of having a loving intent. But what exactly are vibes? How I explain it to students is like this: Imagine at your core is one guitar string. Each morning you wake up you pluck this string to activate your inner vibe, your inner energetic hum. What will yours be set to? Happiness and joy, or frustration and anger? Helplessness and feeling trapped, or self-actualized intent? This is another way you can be in authenticity as the author of your life.

Imagine a large guitar string at your very core, the length of your body, going from your head to your feet. Imagine plucking the string even before you get out of be (if this is possible!) Set this vibe to something happy, joyful, inquisitive, helpful, and fun. You decide. It’s your life, your day, your vibe. This will affect people around you, and honestly, the entire Earth vibe picks up on it. You are contributing to a whole. Make it good!  When you pluck this string, Continue reading

On gossip and complaining

Not engaging in gossip in a small office or group of people is very hard to do. Gossip may start out in the form of being strictly information. But be careful. I have often been tempted to join in. It is a lifelong work in progress and I constantly work on being more positive and happy. At the time of writing this article, I have been at my current job over fourteen years. There is a high potential for a lot of baggage to have collected over the years. Learning to let go is a good habit. Learning not to collect the baggage in the first place is even better! I am proud to say that where I work, there is very little gossip these days.

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Gossiping doesn’t make for a happy day at work, and it only makes you feel less in control of your situation. On top of that it leaves you feeling worse than when you began. There’s a reason for that. Being a gossip or engaging in negative talk results in much lower-vibrational energy and much lower feelings of worth. It’s not worth it just to fit in and go along with the crowd, or be one of the gang.

For me, going with group mentality and not rocking the boat has been a lifelong habit of self-survival. I am now finding this does not suit my spiritual growth. If I find that I have slipped and gossiped or complained about a coworker or situation—even if it seems I am being factual and only reporting what I observe—I get a physical feeling in my gut that is uncomfortable. I know it was wrong to do and was negative energy. This feeling is a physical manifestation of my intuition telling me I have been engaging in a low-vibrational activity that does not suit my higher good. Continue reading

You are the author of your life

You are always in charge of your life. No one else is. Just you. Really. And no one person, no outside circumstance or event can change that. The quality of your life and the direction it takes on a moment-by-moment basis is now, and always has been, in your control.

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Here is a quote from Viktor Frankl that illustrates this point. He spent time in Nazi concentration camps and this was one of his insights.

“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.” (From Viktor Frankl’s book, Man’s Search for Meaning.)

Now if a guy who spent time in Nazi concentration camps can find a way to be happy, I figure pretty much anyone can follow suit. 

Being in charge of your own life is good news, because your happiness is yours to command. You can have it any time you want it. Especially if you have the attitude of gratitude for where you are on your path. It never hurts to say thank you. In fact, it is a higher-level vibration you bring in when you utter those words and feel it in your heart. Then you attract more of the same level, the same vibration of good energy. What goes around, comes around. There are a hundred ways to say it.

Once that is internalized, you have tapped into a tremendous amount of power within. It is really the power of the Universe running through you, because you have just allowed yourself to be a vessel for Universal life force or what I call (Universal) Flow. The Universal life force is without you and within you, and you can use it to make a good life and you can use it to make a difference in other people’s lives, and the world.

If you stop worrying about the next bad thing that might happen, and stop jumping to conclusions, and instead concentrate on what is in front of you, good or bad, life becomes much more freeing and easier to handle. It does not mean there will be no more bad outer circumstances, no more drama, it means you will be more ready, and more comfortable in handling these ups and downs. The outer world is always changing, but you can and should always have control of the inner you. It can be, and is for me, a new way of life that is easier, more freeing, and happier. 

The joy of being, which is the only true happiness, cannot come to you through the world of form, possession, or achievement, person or event. It cannot come through anything that happens. This joy cannot come to you ever. It emanates from the formless dimension of spaciousness within you, from consciousness itself, and this is one with who you are. ― Eckhart TolleThe Power of Now

 

Everything is energy

That’s my personal mantra. It’s something I’ve learned through observation and experience. The Universal Flow is made up of energy, as are thoughts and emotions. Energy is almost one and the same with the Universal Flow. It is the matrix within all of us lives our lives. There isn’t a thing that does not have energy. Even a rock has moving molecules, albeit they move very slowly and not too much. Manmade substances move too at the molecular level. It’s all energy.

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The type of energy that I am most interested in, and that affects our lives on a daily basis is, the energy that we feel and interact with from other people, places, things and events. Feelings, emotions and words especially carry their own vibes, their own energetic signature. Everything is Energy is what I live my life by in terms of sensing what the energy is like around me, or in a place I am going to, or when I am going to be in a meeting, or be with a certain person or group of people. It’s a big part of the co-creation process and manifesting.

I teach a class on working with Universal Flow and developing intuition. Energy sensing through mind, intuition, and body are a big part of this class. You can learn to sense this energy and work with it. Setting your inner hum, your intent, is a big part of having a successful day of navigating the jungles of space and time. But for big ideas and beliefs like this, I leave it to the reader to do their own research and have their own experiences in determining whether or not this is true for them. For me it certainly is.

Having a loving intent

Probably the single most important point to remember in going forward consciously creating and living your own life, is to hold a loving intent in your heart. Feel it, breath it, sense it, know it, and hold it in your heart. When you speak, that loving intent will be present, and others will notice it, and they will be affected by it. They will not be able to help being enveloped by it. Because you ARE it, you are living it, feeling it, at every second.

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There is a saying that resonates with me. “Everything you say, say it with love.” If you are experiencing anger, frustration, or fear, if you take a few seconds to remember that piece of advice and change your intent and feeling before you speak or act, you will have just changed the circumstances for the better. You will have also done a lot to reduce the amount of drama that is unfolding. That is because, by adding love to your message, you have tempered what is in your heart, and taken the drama out of it on your end. Certainly the other parties involved will notice this change, even on a subconscious level. It is up to them to change if they want to. If they do not, you can opt to drop out of the situation or continue to diffuse it Continue reading