What a difference a day makes!

Within a 24-hour period a job I had, and loved, for over 16 years ended. I went from being employed to…semi-retired. From relatively financially comfortable to Oh No! My day yesterday was 95% Yippee Yahoo and 5% Oh $hit. I went in to clean out my desk and say goodbye to beloved coworkers. They seemed sad as they hugged me, and I assured them I was more worried about them, than about myself. I was going to retire! And my former co-workers had to band together and pick up the slack and make the company chug forward, as a third of the company was let go. That’s a huge task. But they are a small group of very committed and talented people.

I came away with a part time freelance job, a nice severance package, hugs and well wishes from everyone including the owner of the company, who I have always liked, and a feeling of complete and total freedom! I also visited the Social Security office, will visit the Medicaid office, see about my 401k, do a new set of monthly bills for the time period after the severance package ends, and see about early retirement!

I left the building with a coveted antique wall weaving (hand knotted from Egypt) that the owner gave me as a parting gift. He heard I loved it although I never told him that. And it landed square in my lap! I also got a beautiful rust colored skirt and top complete with hand embroidery and turquoise stones stitched in it that a co-worker was giving to charity. When she saw me go by she said “Here! Maybe you would like this!” Score! I also apparently had squirreled away tons of chocolate in my desk that happily found a corner of my fridge at home to live in.

I was so out of body, mixed emotions about a short and unexpected goodbye from a place that had become like home to me. I had run all my errands in town and was free as a bird. I got home, unpacked my belongings and was so utterly spent I could hardly stand up. I felt elated, dizzy, tired, exhausted, happy, thrilled, and could feel new possibilities hovering around me like angels dancing above my head.

A friend had invited me to help work out her horses that afternoon, and I said I’d come by, even in my exhausted state. Wisely she instructed me to sit and watch her work out the horses. Being so out of body is not a good time to ride. But it helped me to watch the gentle cadence of all that unfolded. The thoughtful, rhythmic brushing of the horse, walking for warm up, and her riding which was like watching a ballet unfold, horse and rider as one. After we chatted for half an hour and, of course, my friend knew this was also much needed. I was given big hugs by her, and her husband with the phrase “Welcome to your life!” and “Welcome to the real world!”

I went to bed early in my exhausted state. The next morning I woke up, opened the front door to let the dogs out, and noticed I had left my car/home keys IN the front door all night! I must have been so out of it.

This morning finds me more back to Patty normal, with a plan of action in mind. Do that bills scenario for the next year, meditate, walk the dogs, and talk to good friends. AFTER that first cup of coffee! Priorities you know. 😉

May all your lemons turn into lemonade as fast as mine have. Life is indeed good!

Comments are welcome. “Likes” tell me someone is listening. Love and Light, ❤ Patty

Strange energies abound—How about you?

The following is mostly word-for-word between myself and a long time friend. It pretty much describes the feeling of being in a holding pattern, being involved, yet not seeming to get anywhere despite lots of work. Not quite stuck, but not going anywhere yet. Experiencing some of the crazy energy patterns at this time of great change. My friends response to me was articulate in a way that is clearer than I could have described it. Plus she hit the nail on the head several times. Read on.

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Dear Faye,

I have this feeling of not being able to land….and flying round in the air instead. Yup. That’s the stuck feeling I have been in for a while. Stuck is really too harsh a word. It’s more like a holding pattern. I feel like I’m doing everything right, but things are not aligned yet. Much is happening on many fronts, but I don’t feel like I am moving forward exactly. It does not feel wrong by any means. I can’t go back to where I was, and going forward is not quite ‘a go’ even though I know what I need to do. I also feel exhaustion off and on. Mostly on. What’s your take on it? Are you experiencing the same thing?

Dear Patty,

This energy lately has been hard. That’s the only word I have for it. I can see everyone around me stressed all at the same time. Sometimes interactions are coming out sideways.

I know that every moment there is a choice to buy into the negative expiring energy or relax and find the fresh and new. Sometimes I fall back into patterns and “everything sucks, this isn’t fair, etc.” Other times I am able to take a breath and rise above. Either way it’s hard to stay unaffected.

It’s feels like watching that storm happening outside. You know you are inside where it is warm and dry. You know it’s unlikely a tree will fall on your house or a tornado will tear off your roof, but you still can’t really relax until the storm passes.

Interesting thing is that I am noticing more and more people that seem asleep. I don’t know if that means I am becoming more aware or just that energy changes are highlighting things.

The other day I needed to drive downtown. I was passed by a car going too fast who cut me off. You know the situation: I’m following a car going the speed of traffic, who is following another car ahead of you, etc., etc. There really is nowhere to go faster than the crowd, but yet, this person just “needs” to pass you because you’re not going fast enough. We drove together for 20 minutes. I went the speed of traffic. They tried to pass and weave and get ahead. We arrived down town literally side-by-side, but I think we had much different trips.

I’m trying really hard to not be the person in that car who is not recognizing that they have a choice. They are only making it difficult for themselves and less enjoyable for others traveling with them.

I resonated so deeply with her response. She said it better than I could have. I loved to hear her perspective on things since we seem to have parallel experiences in the Jungles of Time and Space. The storm analogy gave me chills and I felt that was true for me. I feel like I am part of a huge worldwide energy storm, witnessing it in action as I sit on the sidelines in wonder and awe. Sometimes I have to get dressed in my mukluks and macintosh and go out and be in that storm. Sometimes I can sit on the sidelines. One thing is true, no one can get out from under what we are experiencing now. We are all in it. Some feel safer than others and some are more affected by it. Some days are great, some days I’m Dorothy in the cyclone.

The story of the driver of the other car is a great reminder to me to slow down my thinking and return to center when I am in a panic. Being in a panic is not being very grounded or spiritually connected. It happens to all of us. It’s a crazy disjointed way to expend energy since you can’t get to where you want to go any faster than the ‘traffic’ around you. I have to remind myself what is going on in the outer world is not always serving the highest good, and to take note of it, and act/or not, accordingly. I hate it when I have relapses of panic or frustration. They seem to happen almost daily with life’s little ups and downs. It feels a little embarrassing to lose my cool or get flustered. Conversely if I see others in a panic, rage, frustrated or doing other similar activities, I like to be the space for them to do what they need to, and send love. 

This is another way meditation helps. As soon as you notice you are off track, gently return to center without judgment. My image is like moving a bubble with a feather. Gently acknowledge you were off track and return to grace. You can do this anytime, not just in meditation. That’s as graceful as it gets. Every time you return to center is a victory. Even if you feel you were the bull in the China shop. Every time you return to center makes it easier to do it next time. And it energetically helps everyone else.

Make some small movement and things that have felt stuck will eventually shift. Give it time. keep forging ahead in little ways each day. There will be periods of rest that seem like stagnation. Nothing is stagnant. Trust me on this. Every day I do get better and better. Some days I feel the weight of many more years of ‘stuff’ to get through. Some days I feel like I am one of the lucky ones to be on earth at this time. Elated, energized and ready to rock!

If you need inspiration, keep in mind it’s not just all about you, or me, or one individual. It’s not even just about your town, the country or the planet. Spirit is always learning from us. I always think of it this way, Spirit is helping us and we are the ones in the trenches. They admire us for being on the front lines. You are a trailblazer right along with the best of them. So keep on keepin’ on, and be good to your fellow travelers along the way.