When you hold your own mind hostage, It’s like being in prison. It’s a lot of self-imposed suffering. I am guilty of this bad habit. It’s a bit like jumping to conclusions but bigger. It takes a while to dump it and change behavior.
Case in point: A friend of a friend said their friend went to a family gathering thinking the worst; that no one liked them, that they would be shunned, ignored, that they were disliked. Yet the opposite happened and the opposite was true. They were welcomed with open arms. They were able to catch up with a lot of people they had been estranged from and had totally the wrong information for many many years. The person who was responsible for spreading the dark information about them in the past was now out of the picture. How many years did our hero waste in shame and fear, thinking they were unloved by their own family? Way too many! It simply was not true. They were holding themselves hostage and suffering for it.
You are always in charge of your life. No one else is. Just you. Really. And no one person, no outside circumstance or event can change that. The quality of your life and the direction it takes on a moment-by-moment basis is now, and always has been, in your control.
Here is a quote from Viktor Frankl that illustrates this point. He spent time in Nazi concentration camps and this was one of his insights.
As an avid thinker and worrier, I am finding more and more that I jump to conclusions too quickly. They are often the wrong conclusions and the worst case scenario. This is not good for manifesting and co-creating a great life. Being divorced (I’d like to call it single) means I have no partner to support me, and everything is on me to survive. There is no one to lean on for moral or financial support. It’s not what I am used to. Any little change to life’s routine sets my mind immediately to the very worst thing that could happen. But hey, everyone wants their future to be set in stone and taken care of, right? Right! We all know that doesn’t happen and life has no guarantees, right? Right!
Recently I discovered a leak in my swamp cooler system. The copper wire under the sink in the kitchen was spraying water all over, and had been for some time. Argh! I turned off the tiny valve to stop the flow of water. I asked my neighbor to help Continue reading →