The other day I was on the phone with a professional from a trusted company. On the call we were dealing with a problem. These things happen. However, I felt like a steam roller went over me. I was not being listened to…at all. I could not get a syllable in edgewise. Someone at his end screwed up. Each time I tried to speak, he interrupted again with his line of thinking, and…he was scolding me! At this point I felt totally humiliated, shamed and small, with a feeling of not knowing what just happened.Continue reading
Last night I had errands to run after a full day at work. These days a full day at work is a bit much to take, but I do my best. My meds for my neuralgia make me feel like I’m going through molasses. Some days I work at home and that helps cut the stress. It cuts out 4 hours of commuting per week, and that is really helping. Every bit counts.
I had groceries to unpack after my long commute home, then picked up the pup from the neighbors. As I get in the door I have a lot to take care of right away. Geese need to be put in their pen, check water and feed. Make sure the door is raccoon proofed. Haul in and put groceries away. Put the clean dishes away that are on the kitchen counter, and do another batch. (I can’t stand having dirty dishes.) I make dinner for my three dogs. At my house it’s the rule that animals are fed before humans. I make sure the Senior and favorite soul dog, Mr. Google, gets his meds, and I take his leg brace off for the night. Only then I can make myself dinner, and finally sit down. At this point I’ve been going since 5:00 am. It’s now 7:30pm.
In the middle of doing dishes, I hear my favorite dog whine that his dinner is not enough to eat, I blow a gasket….almost. How can I be grumpy at Soul Dog? He’s 84 in dog years (12 in people years) and my favorite of all my animals. We have a deep connection and he rarely asks for anything from me. If he begs, he is in need. I check my anger and frustration at the door, er, rather in mid dishwashing. I can change my behavior so there is not so much stress. Slow down. Now. Yes. Oh, that’s better. Now I’m not spinning way out of sync with the Universal Flow of energy.
Since I started daily meditation, even if it is only 10 minutes per session, something slides into my reptilian brain and tells me to slow down. There is no need whatsoever to feel rushed. Ever. Not while running errands, or bringing home groceries, or feeding dogs, or doing dishes. The buddhist mindset of doing things mindfully, and being fully into whatever it is, finally makes a spark in my brain and neurons fire. I’ve been telling others about this for years, now I’m finally taking my own advice.
“Hey, I don’t have to ‘hurry’ and do dishes, and all these crazy chores, in order to sit down at a later time tonight and relax. I can relax NOW. In this moment. While doing whatever it is I need to do.”
I re-mind myself that being mind-ful, and deliberate in my actions and thoughts is key to not ever feeling rushed or stressed. Going a little slower, helps me to enjoy all my moments. Not just some. I don’t have to rush around like a nuthead and wait till 7:30pm to enjoy my evening. I can do that any time I want to. It was another moment I realized how silly I was being. I was being a human-doing, not a human-being. 😉 My guru’s Pema Chödrön and Eckhart Tolle have been telling me this for years as I read their materials, quotes, and articles.
For years I have read about, and really tried integrating this mindfulness into everyday life. But life has a way of making you rushed and crazy sometimes. At least I feel a little more connected to this way of being. It’s going to take some time for it to really come home to roost. I’m not yet at the point of 24/7 mindfulness or totally unstressed life. But, coming a little closer to it doesn’t suck!
The reason for sharing this in blog form is, I teach people about not stressing out, being mindful, dumping drama and chaos. Yet I also get caught up in it, like everyone else. Even Ghandi and Mother Theresa got caught up in it! We are not perfect—’specially me. 😉 I like to share my human, not-so-perfect side. It’s part of that great ride of this crazy life! Everyone makes mistakes. Everyone has a chance to change course.
I would love to hear from you about your experiences, thoughts, and opinions. This blog is meant to be not only educational but part of a community dialogue with other souls.
You are always in charge of your life. No one else is. Just you. Really. And no one person, no outside circumstance or event can change that. The quality of your life and the direction it takes on a moment-by-moment basis is now, and always has been, in your control.
Here is a quote from Viktor Frankl that illustrates this point. He spent time in Nazi concentration camps and this was one of his insights.
“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.” (From Viktor Frankl’s book, Man’s Search for Meaning.)
Now if a guy who spent time in Nazi concentration camps can find a way to be happy, I figure pretty much anyone can follow suit.
Being in charge of your own life is good news, because your happiness is yours to command. You can have it any time you want it. Especially if you have the attitude of gratitude for where you are on your path. It never hurts to say thank you. In fact, it is a higher-level vibration you bring in when you utter those words and feel it in your heart. Then you attract more of the same level, the same vibration of good energy. What goes around, comes around. There are a hundred ways to say it.
Once that is internalized, you have tapped into a tremendous amount of power within. It is really the power of the Universe running through you, because you have just allowed yourself to be a vessel for Universal life force or what I call (Universal) Flow. The Universal life force is without you and within you, and you can use it to make a good life and you can use it to make a difference in other people’s lives, and the world.
If you stop worrying about the next bad thing that might happen, and stop jumping to conclusions, and instead concentrate on what is in front of you, good or bad, life becomes much more freeing and easier to handle. It does not mean there will be no more bad outer circumstances, no more drama, it means you will be more ready, and more comfortable in handling these ups and downs. The outer world is always changing, but you can and should always have control of the inner you. It can be, and is for me, a new way of life that is easier, more freeing, and happier.
“The joy of being, which is the only true happiness, cannot come to you through the world of form, possession, or achievement, person or event. It cannot come through anything that happens. This joy cannot come to you ever. It emanates from the formless dimension of spaciousness within you, from consciousness itself, and this is one with who you are.” ― Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now
Yup. Guess how much time you spend dreading something rather than just doing it? A lot. Meetings, a phone call, sending an email, cleaning the house, doing the dishes, going to that reunion, etc. Whatever it is, I promise you if you are dreading the task, it is best to get it out of the way quickly or accept that it is in your future and stop the dread.
Case in point, I used to dread doing the dishes by hand every night. Where I live the water is so hard, your fancy dishwasher will last about a year. It helps being just one person so dishes don’t pile up. But also being just one person means no one else can help me do those nasty dishes. Dang! So, one day I had been thinking and thinking how much I hated doing those dishes, but they must be done so it does not compound (more dishes). An experiment was in order. I drew a sink full of soapy water and noted the time. Taking care to do a good job, not be in a hurry, so my experiment would be true to my everyday life. Usually I also wipe all the counters and give the stove Continue reading