Personal power and those ruby slippers

Looking back on my very difficult, abusive marriage, I realize I always had a choice. I could have left the instant my instincts said this was a bad pairing, a bad marriage, a very bad experience. Like Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz story, she found out about the magical powers of her shoes late into her journey. Many people would have been angry at finding out so late, that they had the power to fix things all along. But Dorothy had no regret in the difficult, mysterious, scary path she had taken that seemed out of her control. 

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She had a fantastic journey and met many friends along the way. Had she chosen to use the power of her magical ruby slippers sooner, she would never have found her voice and her own personal power. Without this difficult journey, she would not be the same person she was by the end of the movie.

I felt the same was true with my situation. Even though my marriage and split was hard and seemed out of my control, was full of pitfalls, daily emotional and mental drama, and frustration at every turn, it made me stronger and is still giving me insights. Through this baptism by fire, I found my voice and my personal power, and no one can take that from me, ever again. (Cue the happy ending music!)

The most life-changing insight of all was that I always had a choice. As hard and painful as the path had been to get to this insight, I was happy to be where I was at once I was on the other side of all the drama and chaos. I have no regrets about the past, nor do I feel I ‘wasted’ my time, as some people say about a failed marriage. It was the path leading to my own personal freedom and power, that taught me to be a compassionate person toward others. I would not give it up for anything! It was hard won and now I own it. I am fully in charge of my life, co-creating my future, compassionately, lovingly. Our paths have many joys and many pitfalls. All experiences are for our highest good, even though at the time, we may not think so. 

The Big Change

In some posts I talk about The Big Change I went through. And so you will know when I mention this in future blog posts. I was married for over 18 years to someone I loved. Over time this person become volatile, chaotic, overly dramatic and downright cruel. Every day mental and emotional torture and anguish were mine to deal with. I kept trying to keep my marriage together, but it didn’t work. Hanging on way past the time I should have left was foolish, but keep in mind the idea of Divine Right Timing. You do things when you are ready. Time was running out and I knew I would either be dead shortly, or I would have to get out of the marriage. Our split would mean this person would go kicking and screaming, would make my life miserable, with more drama than any drama llama could muster. It all happened as I suspected. But all that is water under the bridge.

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The Big Change was not living in that very abusive and demoralizing situation where I constantly undervalued and ignored my own needs. The divorce was not The Big Change as many might assume. The Big Change was the seven or eight years after the split where my spirituality and love of anything I was denied during the marriage were explored deeply and passionately, with huge doses of cowgirl common sense thrown in for good measure. My ex hated God, religion, or the idea of anything greater than himself. He especially hated and abhorred anything metaphysical. Now that I was no longer being held down by him, I had my time to explore, have fun, and really dig into many areas of life that had previously been shut off to me.

In returning to what I call a new normal, many things that I was exploring were Continue reading

Be the space for

What does that mean, to be the space for something or someone? For me, it means detaching from the drama, the chaos, and the emotionality of what is unfolding. It also means to hold space for what is occurring to let things be for the highest good for all concerned, without your personal bias. It’s on an energetic, vibe level that you are holding space. That’s holding space or being the space for something or someone.

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Being the space for two people, let’s say two good friend who are arguing, would be to detach emotionally, stay present, send love and don’t hope for any particular outcome. Remain neutral as possible while supporting the space for this to occur. It is very important to make sure you are not biased in the outcome whatsoever. Make sure it is for the highest good of all concerned.  Continue reading

Having a loving intent

Probably the single most important point to remember in going forward consciously creating and living your own life, is to hold a loving intent in your heart. Feel it, breath it, sense it, know it, and hold it in your heart. When you speak, that loving intent will be present, and others will notice it, and they will be affected by it. They will not be able to help being enveloped by it. Because you ARE it, you are living it, feeling it, at every second.

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There is a saying that resonates with me. “Everything you say, say it with love.” If you are experiencing anger, frustration, or fear, if you take a few seconds to remember that piece of advice and change your intent and feeling before you speak or act, you will have just changed the circumstances for the better. You will have also done a lot to reduce the amount of drama that is unfolding. That is because, by adding love to your message, you have tempered what is in your heart, and taken the drama out of it on your end. Certainly the other parties involved will notice this change, even on a subconscious level. It is up to them to change if they want to. If they do not, you can opt to drop out of the situation or continue to diffuse it Continue reading

My kryptonite

For someone who teaches classes about dealing with Chaos and Drama, and relaxing and going with the Universal Flow, I need to practice more what I preach. For me going to an airport, through security, and especially flying, really freak me out. Handling it as best I can is a huge challenge. Employing what I have learned to drop any fear, anxiety and worry, and pick up on the ‘go with the flow’ good attitude is hard in my most fearful situation. So at least I can stay connected to my students in that we are all human, we all have flaws, have problem areas, none of us is perfect. Especially me! You could say that being in an airport, and being at the mercy of someone else, especially turbulence and landing, are the perfect learning ground for me.

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I can sit in traffic for hours and never mind being unable to get through, or having a long wait, or a long-unknown detour. But there is something about the total lack of control of being at the mercy of the airlines, getting one delay after the other. Getting a text message every hour telling me of another unexplained two-hour delay felt like the movie Groundhog Day. At least I had my Continue reading

Living at a higher frequency

I believe how we handle situations, is much of our soul’s purpose in coming here. To continually tweak and adjust our behavior is important. I can measure and see my spiritual grown by noticing the new and better ways I handle situations. Maybe previously my reaction would have been one of anger or irritation. My new discovery might have been that I remained open and detached from what the outcome would have been. This feels lighter, more engaging, more with the flow. Easier. Hey why not do this more often?

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It is important to find new ways and new levels of being while we live in the difficult world of third dimension with its duality. I’m not talking about ways of doing things technically. It’s about the feel and the flow. I now place more importance on how I handled a situation, than I do on the outcome. It is how things are handled that is important to me. The end result might be, for example, for me to be open and stand aside from any drama. In the past all I might have experienced was frustration at trying to control things and have them go my way, which is never a good way to operate.  Continue reading