That damned coconut tree

Over the years I learned to handle drama and chaos as best I can. I teach classes on handling it, because I lived through so much of it and found a way to deal with it. In the years during The Big Change, I was able to piece together a road map for my survival. So far, so good. Life is as good as it can be and I’m a happy camper. But, I didn’t get this way overnight. It took work. It was fun at times, but still took some shifting and tweaking each time I encountered a bit of drama or chaos here and there.

When you are dealing with chaos or drama, think of surfing. Learning to surf the waves, the ups and downs of life, can be hard at first. If you wipe out a lot, it sucks. Then with experience you don’t wipe out so often, you become stronger. Your muscles acclimate to this activity, and you actually have fun even if you are paddling out to sea to catch waves, or coming in after a good afternoon out. Your life will be better learning to handle drama and chaos—the ups and downs. The reality is, no one can totally get rid of drama and chaos from their lives. It will try and seek you out, no matter where you go. Be prepared. Know you can handle it and not get hooked. Be the space for anything playing out before you. Calm your inner vibe, go with the flow, etc. The more you practice, the less hooked you will get. You get the picture.

What I advise people is, if you try and totally avoid drama, it will find you. Let’s say you are sick and tired of all the drama and you want to opt out of it. Yes,  you can learn how to deal with it, but if you want to not be bothered by anyone and never have any more drama, I’m telling you, the Universe will send stuff your way. You can’t run and hide from it. You may need to learn more about how the inner you handles life, so lessons come your way compliments of The Universe. Life in general can be chaotic and dramatic, because, well, human beings are involved.

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Just for fun, let’s say you are on a deserted island all by yourself, happy as can be and you don’t want to be bothered. You are determined to be left alone, not wanting any more drama or chaos. There is a coconut tree on the island. Just you and that tree. For sure the coconut tree will start giving you shit, just to keep you in the game. It will start dropping coconuts on your head. It will move if you want to be in the shade. It will somehow end up being a source of grief for you. That’s how life is. Expect it. And I don’t mean in any sort of fatalistic way at all. I mean in a way that has you happily prepared to deal with whatever life throws you. Because there are ups and downs to all things in life. It’s a rhythm. Yin Yang, good bad, off on, light dark, happy sad. This advice is for people that believe if they live alone, don’t go out much, and don’t bother anyone, they will have this get out of jail free card for drama and chaos. Not so. Things happen. Learn to deal with it in a better way. Learn to surf. You will be better for it. You will have less stress, less angst, and feel freer and happier as you ride out life’s low spots.

When ‘shit happens’ I vow to get better at not getting hooked, at standing aside, at being the space for, and letting the drama play out without me involved as much as possible. It’s an art form. But since I’m human, I don’t always behave the way I’d like to. I never plan on doing badly, but sometimes I get caught up in things despite my best efforts. So when I get hooked, it’s humbling, but I remind myself I have to get better at handling that damned coconut tree. Piña colada anyone?

Be the space for

What does that mean, to be the space for something or someone? For me, it means detaching from the drama, the chaos, and the emotionality of what is unfolding. It also means to hold space for what is occurring to let things be for the highest good for all concerned, without your personal bias. It’s on an energetic, vibe level that you are holding space. That’s holding space or being the space for something or someone.

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Being the space for two people, let’s say two good friend who are arguing, would be to detach emotionally, stay present, send love and don’t hope for any particular outcome. Remain neutral as possible while supporting the space for this to occur. It is very important to make sure you are not biased in the outcome whatsoever. Make sure it is for the highest good of all concerned.  Continue reading

Having a loving intent

Probably the single most important point to remember in going forward consciously creating and living your own life, is to hold a loving intent in your heart. Feel it, breath it, sense it, know it, and hold it in your heart. When you speak, that loving intent will be present, and others will notice it, and they will be affected by it. They will not be able to help being enveloped by it. Because you ARE it, you are living it, feeling it, at every second.

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There is a saying that resonates with me. “Everything you say, say it with love.” If you are experiencing anger, frustration, or fear, if you take a few seconds to remember that piece of advice and change your intent and feeling before you speak or act, you will have just changed the circumstances for the better. You will have also done a lot to reduce the amount of drama that is unfolding. That is because, by adding love to your message, you have tempered what is in your heart, and taken the drama out of it on your end. Certainly the other parties involved will notice this change, even on a subconscious level. It is up to them to change if they want to. If they do not, you can opt to drop out of the situation or continue to diffuse it Continue reading

Living at a higher frequency

I believe how we handle situations, is much of our soul’s purpose in coming here. To continually tweak and adjust our behavior is important. I can measure and see my spiritual grown by noticing the new and better ways I handle situations. Maybe previously my reaction would have been one of anger or irritation. My new discovery might have been that I remained open and detached from what the outcome would have been. This feels lighter, more engaging, more with the flow. Easier. Hey why not do this more often?

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It is important to find new ways and new levels of being while we live in the difficult world of third dimension with its duality. I’m not talking about ways of doing things technically. It’s about the feel and the flow. I now place more importance on how I handled a situation, than I do on the outcome. It is how things are handled that is important to me. The end result might be, for example, for me to be open and stand aside from any drama. In the past all I might have experienced was frustration at trying to control things and have them go my way, which is never a good way to operate.  Continue reading