The following are my personal truths discovered in the aftermath of my divorce and the years following. I made big changes in my life. Remaining totally open is a big part of my growth and personal expansion. Being a willing student of life and adopting viewpoints that resonate with me is key. Nothing is adopted that does not ring true. Everything I do is thoroughly explored, tested, and experienced. I hope you find these truths helpful and insightful. Don’t wait for a life changing event to do exploring of your own!
Everything is Energy
If I could tell people about my greatest truth or personal discovery, my answer would be Everything is Energy! It is my own philosophy that came through observation and my own life experiences. If your current inner hum or inner energy is frustration, that is what you will attract more of. If it is happiness, that is more of what you will attract. For me, that’s a fact, Jack! You can feel the energy in a crowd of people, in a small group, or in one person. I have felt the energy of an event or person to make an ‘informed’ choice. I use my intuition every day doing many routine tasks to feel the energy of what is, to make the best decisions going forward. You can too.
This does not guarantee life won’t throw you a curve ball now and then. But the only real power or control you have is how you act in regards to the outer circumstances. (see Your Life is Not Who You Are and Ideas of Control and Power in the Flow, below). You can use your knowledge of the energy of a situation or person to guide you.
You are the author of your life
You are the author of your life, and no one can interfere if that is your choice. Once that is internalized, you have tapped into a tremendous amount of power within you. It is really the power of the Universe running through you, because you have just allowed yourself to be a vessel for Universal life force or what I call Flow. The Universal life force is without you and within you, and you can use it to make a good life and you can use it to make a difference in other people’s lives, and the world. If you stop worrying about the next bad thing that might happen, and instead concentrate on how you handle what is in front of you at the moment—good or bad—life becomes much more freeing and easier to handle. It does not mean there will be no more bad outer circumstances, no more drama. It means you will be more ready, and more comfortable in handling these ups and downs. (see Riding the Peaks and Valleys below)
Your Choices Define The Quality and Direction of Your Life
I am a firm believe that, where you are in your life’s path is a direct result of all the choices you have made along the way. No one gets to where they are due to outside circumstances. Having a good or bad life is more in how you handle events internally, and how you act on them externally. That makes your life what it is. You have a choice and it is up to you to make it happen, according to your desires. People that were born poor have been able to rise above it all, people in prison for life have made changes to be happier. Even people that suffered through Nazi concentration camps have found a way to be happy, ‘flip’ their view on what might seem like bad outer circumstances, and live a happy life. (Look up Victor Frankl and his book, Man’s search for meaning.)
Bad experiences aren’t fun but they make up part of who you are.
Had I not experienced difficulty, confusion, and struggle with earlier problems, and the abuse and all the choices that went with it, I would not be who I am today. As the saying goes, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. Look up the Buddhist philosophy of the Peacock using poison as medicine. With all of my accumulated knowledge, I learned from all of those experiences, good and bad. I changed and modified my thinking and behavior based on what I had learned. Along with those learnings, came the realization that my experiences and life circumstances were all created by me, in a long series of choices called life. Now I felt empowered to be more conscious, more aware of my thinking patterns. I act in a brand new way, changing the old patterns that no longer serve me.
How you handle yourself is more important than what happens to you.
I have come to realize that every single part of life is of my making, my choosing. And, I can change it whenever I desire. I no longer feel like a victim. I no longer feel trapped by a person, by a job, or by outer circumstances. To paraphrase Eckhart Tolle: Don’t confuse your life’s circumstances with who you are. This advice is spot on.
I believe life is a long, ongoing story of circumstances and experiences, but your life is not who you are. I believe how you handle yourself is more important than what happens to you. What your core intent is matters, and it can be shifted. Your intent can be thought of as the vibe at your core that you broadcast to the rest of the world. What is at your internal core that emanates from you? What is the tune you are humming? Victim? Grumpy and irritated? Happy and centered? Compassionate? Is this central core you are operating from based on love or fear? Those are the two main emotions from which all others flow.
You have the power to be exactly who you want to be, based on your intent. Your feelings, thoughts and actions will be based on this core intent. It will make all the difference in how you ride the waves, the ups and downs life presents you. This is how people remain centered and compassionate even in dire circumstances. Circumstances are always outer. You now have complete control of your inner YOU. This can never change. Now you’re cooking with gas! That’s why it is important to not get caught up in the circumstances or details of your life. You are more than that.
Universal Ebb and Flow
In the Yin and Yang of life’s learning experiences, there are waves of joy and waves of sorrow, waves of love and waves of fear. The Yin and Yang of the universe is one thing you can count on. Read Khalil Gibran’s story On Joy and Sorrow for a little more insight on this. The universe and the rhythms of life are constantly ebbing and flowing. It is how you choose to experience this ebb and flow that makes a difference. When you choose to experience things with a positive loving intent, your actions also change, and through that you can change the world.
Probably the single most important point to remember in going forward consciously creating your own life, is to hold a loving intent in your heart. Feel it, breath it, sense it, know it, and hold it in your heart. When you speak, that loving intent will be present, and others will notice it, and they will be affected by it. They will not be able to help being enveloped by it. Because you ARE it, you are living it, feeling it, at every second.
There is a saying that resonated with me. “Everything you say, say it with love.” If you are experiencing anger, frustration, or fear, if you take a few seconds to remember that piece of advice and change your intent and feeling before you speak or act, you will have just changed the circumstances for the better. You will have also done a lot to reduce the amount of drama. That is because, by adding love to your message, you have tempered what is in your heart, and taken the drama out of it on your end. Certainly the other parties involved will notice this change, even on a subconscious level. It is up to them to change if they want to. If they do not, you can opt to drop out of the situation or continue to diffuse it with your loving intent. I was in a situation involving two friends who were having a heated argument. Each tried to get me on their side, and involve me. I refused to be part of their highly emotional argument because it was fear-based.
By standing by silently but still in the room and focusing my inner hum and intent to love, I was ‘being the space’ for each of them to do their thing. By broadcasting love, I may have helped to temper the energy in the room. This is a good practice for spiritual development. It was my first lesson in learning to stand aside while drama is playing out. I was there in the room. My friends tried to engage me in an emotionally upsetting episode. I gracefully declined, and stayed present, broadcasting love. It was a very enlightening and freeing experience. Believe me, as you grow more, the Universe will send you examples and situations to practice your newfound skills! There’s the old joke of asking for patience, and then having your patience be tested over and over. Sooner or later you will get the hang of it!
I would like to add that having a loving intent does not mean you have to give up anything. It does not mean rolling over and saying “Uncle.” It is not giving up or giving in. It’s not having a Pollyanna outlook. It is simply choosing love, instead of its opposite, which is fear. This is an important distinction that may become clear to you over time.
Riding the Peaks and Valleys
Life always presents you with dramas, circumstances, and emergencies that will require you to make choices. Learning to handle yourself, and propel your life forward with positive intent, will result in a clearer, happier path. You know you can change things almost without taking action simply by having a loving internal attitude and intent. Since your actions that are based on you attitude and intent, you will have chosen the best possible path forward.
It does not mean that there will be no more dramas, or that you will ignore the drama and opt out, or stand aside. It means you can choose to have love in your heart, and act on that intent, no matter what the circumstances. Next time you are in a valley or low spot, act in a way that steps away from the path of fear, you will have done much to make your life, and the life of others around you, better in the best way possible. After you weather a valley with this new attitude, you will feel so much better about your ability to handle the next down life throws you. As Eckharte Tolle says, don’t confuse your life’s situation with your life.
Ideas of Control and Power in The Flow
In life, there is a sweet spot of Universal Energy I call the Flow. In life, there is seemingly no control of any kind, and that can be unsettling to most humans. A good way to think of it is, the only thing anyone has any control over is how they think and act in any given situation. If a person’s actions are based on a genuine intent to go forward with love, that will be the most positive path forward. It’s a pretty good way to live life. That’s going with the flow, and it’s the only power or control you need!
I know it is perhaps contradictory to say you have power and control, and yet you must let go to ‘go with the flow’ and just be. But remember that the control and power are how you handle yourself personally as you experience the flow of What Is. It is this mindset, this heart-intent, this go with the flow that I would like to teach you to cultivate in your own life.
By having a wonderful inner core and inner vibe, you will be able to handle what life presents you. Going with the flow, as opposed to trying to go against the grain or trying to swim upstream, is a much better way to live. By not wanting to have power or control over outer circumstances, you are now working with the flow. Things are easier that way, aren’t they? This new outlook on life of operating from your intent, is what sets you free to go with the flow, to be without control of outer circumstances.
A Compassionate Heart and the Courage to Heal
It has become my life’s work going forward to use this loving intent to change my life for the better and learn to go with the flow. Riding those waves, those ups and downs, takes courage. Living with an open heart takes courage. Accepting what the present moment delivers, without being hooked emotionally on drama, takes the courage of an open heart. The experiences you live through and learn from will temper who you are. If you are lucky, you will learn to live with an open, compassionate heart. You cannot be a healer without compassion, and compassion is something you must experience at a soul level. It is with an open and compassionate heart that you will heal others. I am not just speaking to people in the healing profession, but to everyone interested in healing the planet at a soul level.
Learning Through Experience
I believe our life on earth is about learning and growing, fulfillment, and joy, and having wonderful, fun experiences. Not idly living out a life of leisure or conversely living a life of pain and suffering. It’s about learning through experience and circumstances that come our way. I think of Earth as a sort of school. You are here to learn. If you stop learning, that’s the day you leave the Earth. At least, that is my philosophy and belief.
Give Others Space to be on their own path
Over time, you will learn to observe the drama and stand apart from it, allowing the space for others to ‘be’ and play out their part. Do not try and prevent drama in others’ lives, they too have their path to heal and learn. They may not be where you are at yet, but it’s up to them to learn in their own time. Let go of the emotional hook or tug at anger, or frustration or impatience, and just be the space for them to experience it on their terms. By doing this, you are doing more to heal them than you realize, and you will feel refreshed!
What is the Meaning of Life?
People often ask each other, what is the meaning of life? I used to say “The meaning of life is to have fun, and be kind to others along the way.” Although there was nothing wrong with this attitude and outlook, it is perhaps more to the point to say what I presently believe. “The meaning of life is whatever meaning you bring to it!” That puts you directly in charge of every aspect of your life. It’s the best possible meaning you can assign to life, and puts you directly in charge of your divine path.