A new landscape: Big picture vs. small details

The dreams we weave on what could happen next are all in Big Picture mode. We get excited making things happen in our head, and it is the start of manifesting a new life. This is good! You should have dreams and goals. When details come filtering in, it must shift to a certain amount of day-to-day reality. It does not mean the dream ends. Not at all. But there is a certain shifting of the sails that has to happen for that dream to manifest. I’m in the middle of that now. This is where the good stuff, the hard stuff, the fun stuff happens.

My emotional line chart would look like a huge zig-zag. Up, down, up, down, up, down. It has been about two weeks since I was laid off. The up-downs get smaller in scope as time goes by as I get used to my new situation. I feel exhausted and numbed, despite my good attitude. I’ve added a day during the week where I will be out of touch with all electronic devices. The day will be spent at the local hot springs, taking long walks with happy dogs, and puttering. For me getting outside and working with my hands is extremely satisfying and grounding. Getting myself out of my head, and into my heart.

I can see the value of support groups. How do we process it all? What are the effects and how should I deal with them to stop from being on the negative slippery slope? At times I feel elated to be free, and have a chance at a totally new life. A person can easily reinvent themselves because the worst has happened.

Other times it feels like a tightening of my throat in fear of having to find work at the age of 61. I live 42 miles from town, and I can’t do that commute any more. No can do. I find myself day dreaming of working locally. I’d love to be a receptionist or file clerk, for half my old salary. And as long as I get benefits, if it is an easy drive, I’d be totally happy to downsize my working footprint. Happy to dump the corporate world after over 40 years. 

Social Security and 401K seems to be on everyone’s lips as my salvation. I’m too young for either of those to work out, but believe me I did my homework on both. Social Security seems like an easy out, but it’s not near enough to live on. Watch that you don’t opt for it early or you can screw yourself later. If I can wait until I am 65 or 70, I am assured to have enough to get by on. 401K doesn’t last forever either. I have run the numbers, and you should too if you are ever in my position.

All these financial investigations help fine tune what is next. I must run the numbers to not be in a panic. I won’t stick my head in the sand. I know other folks are not like that. They dream bigger than I do, and they have more trust than I do. It is my belief that knowing where you stand financially helps ground you so you can fly on the wings of The New and The Now.

Those two worlds, the here and now on earth, and the world of dreams you want to manifest—you must manage both.

—Patty Daley

Incarnating into a body on the earth is a special place we have come to do our work. It’s essential to know the reality what you need to live. That means adjusting to the day-to-day realities of life in 3D. Surviving, living, and taking care of an aging body are all part of it. I believe this is under the heading of Small Details. It helps support the Big Picture so don’t ignore it.

My landscape is changing. I know in my bones it is for a much more positive, truer-to-me life that is being manifested. As things change in this unknown part of the journey, I must adjust my sails and at the same time keep my eye on the horizon. That’s the lesson here. My goals are out there. They are a bit out of focus and far away, but they are there calling to me. I feel elated! Jazzed! Pumped! 

Learn to ride the waves! Do not lose hope, should you find yourself in the bottom of a swell of waves. Times seem tougher when all you can see are tall mountains of water on either side of you. But when you are on crest of the next wave, moving forward, that’s where all the work you did while in the trough comes into sharp focus. That’s where you have your goals in sight, and things are peachy keen. Life is about both ups and downs. Learn to ride the waves! (Scroll down to Riding the Peaks and Valleys.)

Comments are welcome. “Likes” tell me someone is listening. Love and Light, ❤ Patty

When dreams rise to the top

Many times over the years I have yearned to be out of the corporate workplace. When frustrated I would have dreams of switching to something more healing focused, like doing massage, Reiki, or physical therapy. Anything but sitting behind a computer in an atmosphere of push, push, push to make the bottom line. I spent 35 years as a graphic designer and seven as a coding supervisor pushing data around. It was not heart centered work, but I loved the people I worked with. We were all very lovely people, committed to the work and to each other.

Over the years, I joked with people that if I found myself out of work, I’d do something simple like work in a greenhouse, or shovel horse poop at a stables, just earning enough to get by. The problem with those fantasies of jumping the corporate ship were many. Especially if I wanted to leave to pursue a business of my own. My thoughts were always “I can’t leave my day job. What will I do for health insurance? How will I start the business? How would I survive until my business got going enough to pay my bills?” The realities of living that dream life come into stark focus when you lose your day job.

When you face the realities of life without that security blanket of a regular paycheck, two things happen. Of course, you freak out. It happens and you have to wrap your mind around the hows of getting by. Even with something as lovely as severance package of a few months cushion, there is panic and scrambling. A lot of scrambling. But after that subsides a bit, something wonderful happens…


Once the $hit hits the fan, your dreams can rise to the top.

—Patty Daley

Your dreams float to the top, rising out of the muck of all those worries and fears. Because the worst of the ‘what if’ of it all has already happened. You no longer have that day job as income, or as an anchor. Choose which way you want to look at it. It is over and you must say your gracious goodbyes. That chapter of your life is gone. As for the new stuff, Spirit won’t give you any more than you can handle.

Now you are free to sift through the smaller day-to-day details of following that dream, no longer anchored by the ‘what if I quit my day job’ worries. I’m pretty sure this is not only good news, but a huge green light. Attitude of Gratitude peeps. So far I like being on the other side. Dreams come into sharper focus, and are much more attainable. As I like to say, “The world is my clam!”

Comments are welcome. “Likes” tell me someone is listening. Love and Light, ❤ Patty

What a difference a day makes!

Within a 24-hour period a job I had, and loved, for over 16 years ended. I went from being employed to…semi-retired. From relatively financially comfortable to Oh No! My day yesterday was 95% Yippee Yahoo and 5% Oh $hit. I went in to clean out my desk and say goodbye to beloved coworkers. They seemed sad as they hugged me, and I assured them I was more worried about them, than about myself. I was going to retire! And my former co-workers had to band together and pick up the slack and make the company chug forward, as a third of the company was let go. That’s a huge task. But they are a small group of very committed and talented people.

I came away with a part time freelance job, a nice severance package, hugs and well wishes from everyone including the owner of the company, who I have always liked, and a feeling of complete and total freedom! I also visited the Social Security office, will visit the Medicaid office, see about my 401k, do a new set of monthly bills for the time period after the severance package ends, and see about early retirement!

I left the building with a coveted antique wall weaving (hand knotted from Egypt) that the owner gave me as a parting gift. He heard I loved it although I never told him that. And it landed square in my lap! I also got a beautiful rust colored skirt and top complete with hand embroidery and turquoise stones stitched in it that a co-worker was giving to charity. When she saw me go by she said “Here! Maybe you would like this!” Score! I also apparently had squirreled away tons of chocolate in my desk that happily found a corner of my fridge at home to live in.

I was so out of body, mixed emotions about a short and unexpected goodbye from a place that had become like home to me. I had run all my errands in town and was free as a bird. I got home, unpacked my belongings and was so utterly spent I could hardly stand up. I felt elated, dizzy, tired, exhausted, happy, thrilled, and could feel new possibilities hovering around me like angels dancing above my head.

A friend had invited me to help work out her horses that afternoon, and I said I’d come by, even in my exhausted state. Wisely she instructed me to sit and watch her work out the horses. Being so out of body is not a good time to ride. But it helped me to watch the gentle cadence of all that unfolded. The thoughtful, rhythmic brushing of the horse, walking for warm up, and her riding which was like watching a ballet unfold, horse and rider as one. After we chatted for half an hour and, of course, my friend knew this was also much needed. I was given big hugs by her, and her husband with the phrase “Welcome to your life!” and “Welcome to the real world!”

I went to bed early in my exhausted state. The next morning I woke up, opened the front door to let the dogs out, and noticed I had left my car/home keys IN the front door all night! I must have been so out of it.

This morning finds me more back to Patty normal, with a plan of action in mind. Do that bills scenario for the next year, meditate, walk the dogs, and talk to good friends. AFTER that first cup of coffee! Priorities you know. 😉

May all your lemons turn into lemonade as fast as mine have. Life is indeed good!

Comments are welcome. “Likes” tell me someone is listening. Love and Light, ❤ Patty

Dream that foretold events

Last night I had another dream about wanting a divorce and separating from a situation. I am divorced over 11 years and it feels good. But I thought I was over these types of dreams of release. I have felt the relief over and over of being out of that situation. (Well, relief like that never gets old.) I guess I had more to process. Or so I thought.

In the dream I am wearing conservative work clothing, but I am at home. I ask for the divorce and I want the separation. (There is no one in the room oddly.) I am granted my wish and I am relieved it has happened. There is a web-cam high on the wall and I cover it up, not wanting any more contact. It is done. Finally I am able to spend more time with my dogs and I am on my own once again. The dogs and I go into my room, close the door. We are all feeling reserved but also very relieved. Life is good and will get better. (Big grin.) End of dream.

At one point this morning, working from home, my email account closed down. This type of connectivity hiccup happens frequently so I was not surprised. However the message was a bit different. “Your gmail account has been deactivated.” Uh oh number one. Better call into work and see if they are messing around with new software or accounts. I have heard just yesterday they were switching things around. I call in and talk to the office manager, a friend of almost 17 years. I ask to talk to the IT guys, explaining to the office manager that I can’t get to my email. I can hear the CFO in the background saying “Tell her someone will call her right back.” Uh oh number two. About thirty seconds later my boss calls. BIG uh oh. I know what is coming. Oddly I feel fine.

My boss, a compassionate hard working woman, is crying so hard she can hardly talk. I feel for her. She tells me things have been hard at the company lately, and she has been going to bat for us for a long time trying to avoid this day. I say “Let me say it for you. I don’t have a job anymore.” She confirms I have been laid off after more than sixteen years. My boss and I talk about the details and I find myself comforting her. She should not carry this weight around and I feel complete and total relief at the news. I loved working there, the environment, the people. I felt like I was working out a soul contract with the owner and other people there. But I was tired and wanted to retire some time ago. Since I work for a very small company, this does not bode well for those that remain. I have dodged a huge bullet.

I hang up, and oddly my work ethic is to get back to work. I’m in the middle of a job and I want to finish it and email the owner of the company to check my work so we can publish what I have been working on. I go back to my computer and realize….where is my email? Oh, wait…I don’t have a job anymore. YIPPEE! I run out the door, hands raised and say “Free at last. Free at last!” I am ebullient, euphoric, and happy. I feel that 1,000 lb. weight has been lifted off my shoulders. At the age of 61 I reflect back on having been in the work force since the age of 14. At times I have had more than one job, while attending full time college. I have a good work ethic, and enjoy having my nose to the grindstone. I love being of service.

But now it is time for a bit of a rest. A time to regroup, rest, and heal. I have a severance package of a few months, three weeks of vacation pay, and may do ‘early retirement’ if at all possible. Health insurance…well that will be a tough one, but I have some resources for that. All my actions over many months to cut down websites, costs, sell items I no longer use—it all comes into sharp focus now. By a happy accident, I have many months worth of an expensive drug I cannot be without for even a day. The planets seem to have been aligning all this time.

I am not worried. I have many skills. Many ways I can package myself if needed. I am an excellent organizer, can clean hoarder houses, I can set up and help people with doing their monthly expenses, and help by supporting them in almost any way. I have been a graphic artist for over 30 years, but hope to not have to pick up that skill at this point in my life. I’d rather work at a greenhouse, a grocery store, or a stables shoveling poop. I want to work outside, if I work at all. I could do tarot readings, teach people about their intuitive skills, or how to dump drama. There is much I have studied and learned in my life on the planet.

Right now, I will spend a few months eating well, taking care of my body, and relaxing. My home and car are paid for long ago. I’ll go to the SS office next week. I will apply for Cobra and get my finances in ship shape order. All is well. My dogs are thrilled that I can kick that old basketball around the yard all day along. They are all for this new change. 😉

It’s like that dream I had last night. The work clothes were a big clue. So was the web-cam, as that is how I have daily meetings remotely. So is the ‘person’ I ask for the divorce from…they were not in the room. I was alone at home when I got the news. A breaking off from a long relationship. A huge relief, and a new beginning, with happy dogs spending more time with me. It’s all there.

To sum it up nicely, one of my brothers texted me after he heard the news, and I feel this says it best, “Congratulations on your promotion!”

Comments are welcome. “Likes” tell me someone is listening. Love and Light, ❤ Patty

The Churning Miasma, and the Cosmic 2×4

In my blog posts, I speak often of the Churning Miasma, and the Cosmic 2×4. What do I mean by these terms? Like my mother, I love to make up my own words and phrases. It’s the best way for me to quickly communicate something intangible in an easy to understand way. I love these terms because by themselves, they carry a visual weight. Can’t you just visualize the Cosmic 2×4 or the Churning Miasma? 

The Churning Miasma

When I face ongoing problems and I feel mired down, if I could see what I was going through, I’d see everything I’m thinking about, worried about, exploring, talking about, investigating, and creating. It would be about three feet above my head in a huge churning gray whirlpool. It’s too much to take in. I can’t focus or see any one thing. It wont’ slow down. It’s a giddy feeling because then I know I am on the cusp of understanding something. I call this The Churning Miasma. It seems the only way to describe this. 

I need to be still and stop searching for logical reasons about what’s going on during this time period. Trying to pull it apart and discover what it’s all about is useless. The churning miasma is not something that can be picked apart and analyzed. Nor can it be slowed down. It must be left alone to do it’s thing. Sitting still now and then would be better. Eventually it all coalesces after days or weeks, and it drops in my head and heart in a nanosecond. Even after that happens, I cannot say exactly what was learned, or *grocked. I know that new material is in me. I can sense it inside me and it feels better! The Churning Miasma is a process of learning, experiencing, and understanding. But it is so uncomfortable while it is happening. Isn’t there always chaos before change? 

*Grocked: Coined by Robert A. Heinlein in his novel Stranger in a Strange Land, 1961, in which the word is described as being from the word for “to drink” and, figuratively, “to drink in all available aspects of reality”, “to become one with the observed” in Heinlein’s fictitious Martian language. 

The Cosmic 2×4

When something is trying to show itself to me but I’m not getting it that’s when the Cosmic 2×4 comes in. Have you ever heard the saying that when the Universe/Spirit is trying to get your attention first it’s a tap on the shoulder. Then a bit harder if you don’t notice, then bonk on the head or the brick wall to finally get your attention. That’s what I’m talking about. That happens to me a lot. Apparently I need three, four, or five instances to get it through my thick skull whatever is being shown to me.

I always feel like such a dolt for having been so unable to see or understand the new something was coming my way. Some new way of seeing. Some new way of letting go of the old and trying the new. Some new path opens up to me. I love having the new vision or insight and am always in gratitude. But yep, I kinda feel silly when my eyes open after the fact, that I was so stubborn I could not see it. It’s then I look back and can so easily see the ‘taps’ or hints I was getting previous to the Cosmic 2×4. How did I not see it or get it? Huh. Funny. 

You can go over my past blog entries and look for the words Cosmic 2×4 and find what I’m talking about. I always think next time I won’t be so stubborn, so unable to see the lesson. But still I am presented with that Cosmic 2×4 every now and again. It makes one humble! Lately I am able to see when the Cosmic 2×4 might be hovering around. So that is something new. Like I might be on the cusp of understanding and I’ll say, “Well I don’t want that Cosmic 2×4 coming around so I better pay attention here!” Like that. I am becoming bit more open to seeing, and a bit less stubborn. 

Do you use any self-made jargon? If you have any instances of your own churning miasma, or cosmic 2×4, I’d love to hear it. Or anything you’ve made up yourself to help describe your life’s journey. 

Comments and dialogue are encouraged and welcome. Likes tell me someone is listening. Love and Light, Patty.

Kintsugi and repairing painful experiences

Kintsugi “golden joinery”, also known as Kintsukuroi “golden repair”, is the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery with lacquer dusted mixed with powdered gold, silver, or platinum. As a philosophy, it treats breakage and repair as part of the history of an object, rather than something to disguise. Highlighting the cracks and repairs as simply an event in the life of an object rather than allowing its service to end at the time of its damage or breakage. Kintsugi can relate to the Japanese philosophy of “no mind” which encompasses the concepts of non-attachment, acceptance of change and fate as aspects of human life. (From Wikipedia.)

When I lost my horse Silver, I experienced an act of kindness I will never forget. When my horse lay on the ground close to death, a friend and experienced horsewoman had me sit at his head and take each thumb and gently stroke inside his ears at the tips. She said “This will feel good to him, it’s a pressure point, and it will help calm you down as well. We have done all that is possible, so just let everything go and sit with your horse.” I am glad I did, because I didn’t realize I would not see him again. I thanked him for the wonderful years together, the glorious fast rides out in the desert, and his goofy demeanor and friendship. I am forever indebted to the wisdom of my friend Kristin. This act of kindness was a knitting together of the broken pieces that were already coming apart. I did not know it then.

Regarding Kintsugi: “Not only is there no attempt to hide the damage, but the repair is literally illuminated… The vicissitudes of existence over time, to which all humans are susceptible, could not be clearer than in the breaks, the knocks, and the shattering to which ceramic ware too is subject. This poignancy or aesthetic of existence has been known in Japan as mono no aware, a compassionate sensitivity, or perhaps identification with, [things] outside oneself.”  — Christy Bartlett, Flickwerk: The Aesthetics of Mended Japanese Ceramics

With Kintsugi, the damage is part of the story of the piece and is not hidden or swept under the rug. Kintsugi makes the piece whole, new, and beautiful. In terms of healing a heart it makes the trauma part of your story but it is a healed trauma. It is a new part of you and your story. Sitting with my horse as he lay close to death was hard, but it was the art of Kintsugi, making a repair, and pulling together the old pieces to make a new whole.

If you have pieces of your life’s experience that feel broken or damaged, think of the art of Kintsugi, and how those experiences make up part of who you are. They are part of a whole that makes up everything you currently are. Don’t dismiss them, and don’t embrace the damage itself as all you are either. It is part of a larger whole. In time, bad circumstances and negative events will become clearer to you. Think of the art of Kintsugi and perhaps the pain of past events will make more sense to you than they did at the time those events happened to you.

As Jim Carey said at his commencement speech at Maharishi University of Management…

“Choose love, and don’t ever let fear turn you against your playful heart.”

Comments and dialogue are encouraged and welcome. Likes tell me someone is listening. Love and Light, Patty.

Experiencing The Now

Oh what a blissful time that was when I found The Now, where no time existed. Due to months of various physical problems (which I am totally unaccustomed to) I was down and out, sicker than a dog. My IBS was in full swing and it was new to me. I also had flu-like symptoms that laid me flat out. Those flu symptoms came ever other week for many weeks. I had other things that were a huge source of worry and it was all too much for my little head to deal with. I’ve enjoyed a lifetime of health.

I was in my guest room, a brightly colored room with ‘mango madness’ paint on the walls, and items from around the world that lent a lovely flair to the room. It is a room I hardly spend any time in, so it was a welcome change. I had a futon that looked out onto my yard and a large portion of the lovely blue New Mexico sky. As I lay there with my dogs, I was so sick I could not move. It is a very rare occurrence in my world that I am unable to physically do anything. My mind is a ‘doing mind’ and forever searching for things to fix, repair, create, or explore. Resigning to the moment was inevitable in my current physical state.

I lay there taking in the warmth of the sunshine in the afternoon sky. This felt good. As I stared out the window time seemed to stretch out on either side of me, to the left and to the right. It stretched out to infinity. Time seemed to stop and there I was. Now. Not elsewhere in my mind. Experiencing the present moment. I’ve had the experience of time stopping in dreams, but I have never had it stop for hours at a time. This was delicious!

I am nearing retirement enough to think about what it might be like as a single person. Will it be fun? Lonely? Will I ache for some ‘purpose’ after my first week of freedom? Or will I embrace the time I have left by exploring more of my world? We never know these things until we get there. People like me thrive on a purpose outside ourselves. I am not a person who watches TV in the daytime unless it is Sunday and I am into watching baking shows or that Antiques Road Show while I bake or clean. Even then it’s rare. I have a friend who does nothing but watch TV in his tiny, dark living room. It feel bad for him, except I know it is what he wants to do. Still, I fear living like that, where all I do is watch the boob tube all day. I have heard that watching TV is like painting your third eye with black paint. Agreed!

As I experienced the Now time, I felt that my retirement, or any time for that matter, would be a wonderful opportunity for me to explore all I have wanted to explore, but have not had the time. I rarely get out or engage with others, due to my needing and desiring to live in nature, in the boonies. It’s lovely but it is far from civilization. Needing nature but wanting to be social at the same time is polarizing. In the Now, I imagined myself going to a nearby city to learn about Shamanism, practice my tarot, join a nearby group, or go to the lovely farmer’s market where they have bands play as you shop for fresh produce. I imagined and could feel to my right and left time stretching out to infinity with me in the middle of this lovely tableau of life, feeling no pressure whatsoever. I finally felt free to do as I pleased and it was good.

The Now Time did not last long, but it was utterly delicious and I had no fear at all of the future. The experience gave me a totally new-to-me perspective. A new set of eyes to look out of. For me the Cosmic 2×4 had struck again. Yes it takes a lot to get me to pay attention. I know when I am experiencing something like this, the Universe/Spirit has been trying to get my attention in order to help me see something. It takes so much to get through to me due to my stubborn nature. This was not meditation, intuition, or insight. This was cosmic guidance. I wish I were a bit more aware so I could see things more easily. Then there would be no need to have me thrown off a horse, laid low with illness, or whatever else needed for me to slow down enough to see the world in a different light. Have you ever experienced time slowing down, or stopping, so you are just in the moment? If you have, I would love to hear about your experience.

Comments and dialogue are encouraged and welcome. Likes tell me someone is listening. Love and Light, Patty.

Animals do say ‘hello’ from the other side

The following is a letter I wrote to a local artist last January after my horse died unexpectedly. Eight months earlier I lost my first horse, and three months before that, my best ever dog. 

Dear Debi, I wanted to tell you about how much your painting of a white horse in moonlight, Dancing Moon, affected me when I saw it in a gallery the other day. I had to make the decision to have my white horse put down the day of the Blue Moon on Tuesday.

I believe animals give us the ‘all okay’ after they are gone. Yesterday I went to the vet to see my ‘sleeping’ Silver before he was taken. On the way back my friend and I were spent after two emotionally hard days. Since we had not eaten yet, we stopped at the Range Cafe. After the meal my friend wandered into the attached art gallery. He said “Hey Patty, look at what’s on the wall!” It was a painting of a gorgeous white horse in motion, neck arched and mane flying, blood red ribbon in his mane. He looked almost exactly like Silver would have in his prime. Same shape of the face and nose. We admired the painting, were a little amazed at it, and went home to get some rest as we felt like zombies after the two-day ordeal. 

It’s Wednesday morning 5:40 am and I am standing in my yard watching the full lunar eclipse with deep red moon. I have the image of a beautiful white horse jumping over a blood red moon. Your painting touched me very deeply. I thank you for painting it. I know it was a sign from my horse. Respectfully, Patty.

Three months after Silver left me during a blood red moon, a baby foal was born at my riding partner’s home four houses down. We had teased him about how fat his horse was getting, little knowing she was pregnant. Niña Surprise was born the day of a blood red sun! My heart rejoices! This is Niña on her birthday and she is only an hour old. Today she is a young lady, growing like a weed at six months old. Heart still rejoicing!

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Goodbye Soul Dog

It’s been just over three months that I let my soul dog, Google go forward to his journey off planet. He was 12 years and 8 months old. Not bad for a 72 lb dog. It was so hard to do, but I feel I had a very complete experience with him. I waited for a sign from him that it was time. Believe me, your animal will let you know when it is time.

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On his last day on the planet, I invited close friends to sit and visit with him out in the yard and the sunshine. All his dog friends were there and people came by to say goodbye. It was one of the very rare sunny days we had in a cloudy and cold early Spring. When it was time to go, we had to plan how to get him into the truck to get to the vet because of his severe arthritis and inability to move much. We decided to place his jumbo sized memory foam bed into the back of the pickup truck. Then three of us lifted him as gently as possible onto it. Then I got into the back of the truck with him and lay down behind him, hugging him and talking to him. I told him to look at the gorgeous sky of blue with tons of white fluffy clouds, and that he was a New Mexico dog for his whole life, and not to forget that. I saw him sniffing the air and still being curious about life.

The experience at the vet was very special. I stayed in the back of the truck with my dog hugging him. We agreed it was best to have it happen outside. Google was an outside dog and going inside the vet’s office would make him unnecessarily uncomfortable. My veterinarian is a member of the Jemez tribe. He said, “I am going to talk to Google. This is my Indian prayer.” He said a very special prayer speaking to my dog, in his tribe’s native language, before Google Doggen passed. This was so different than having someone pray over my dog. Then my vet interpreted the prayer and told me what he said. After everyone went back inside, I spent more time with his body, it was so hard to let go. I wanted a few more minutes to nuzzle his neck and dig my nose into his soft fur, like I had done so many times while he was alive.

At the crematorium I had several items picked out to go with him from home. I had a Mexican falsa blanket to wrap him in, some locally grown sage, incense sticks, and the most important item, his favorite old, deflated basketball. Hey if a dog spends his whole life chasing a basketball, he should get to have it in the end! I told the staff to ‘wrap him up like a burrito’ with all the items. Google deserved the best sendoff I could give him. I picked out a great urn, had it engraved, and also selected some jewelry where you can have some of the ashes inserted. One of those necklaces is hanging on the rear view mirror of my car, so he always rides along with me.

When you give it your all, for every part of the process, it helps with grief and loss. Don’t hide from any part of it. Be with your pet until the end. When you are fully present for the entire journey, it helps with grief and loss. Part of that experience was having him cremated and making a shrine in my home on a bookcase. Every week I buy fresh flowers at the grocery store. I have his old collar wrapped around his urn. It is a way to honor his memory, and still have him near me. It is hard to believe I can’t go out and find him in his usual spot under the porch, or pet him.

The Shamanic experience is about ‘soul retrieval’ for parts of your life you lost along the way—when your heart feels broken. What I did with Google Doggen was so complete that there is no part of my soul that needs retrieving. That is the best way to describe it. Yes, I miss him, but I feel so complete in his full experience here on earth, and with me, that I don’t have a heavy heart when I think of him. It’s finished. The feeling in my heart is light and free.

Sweet Dreams Google Doggen

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Morning prayer…answered in a nano-second

In the morning when I get in my car, I start my hour long journey to my job with a simple morning prayer. I got most of this from a friend, and modified it to suit myself. Here it is:

Angels of Love, Angels of Light, Angels of Mercy
All associated guides, my light worker team celestial crew and peeps,
Come be with me now that I may receive all the messages you are sending me. 
Please know I am in deepest gratitude for all you do to assist,
And I ask that you keep me in your every loving and protective care, 
So be it, it is so!

Then I have a dialogue with them regarding anything that I need help with, or am thankful for. It’s a nice conversation, and a very empowering and authentic way to start your day.

As I ended my prayer, my eyes were on my rear view mirror. Someone in a black sedan was almost IN my lane on top of me! Holy crap! A second later they swerved back into their lane at high speed. And I mean, their front end would have hit my rear drivers-side door they were so close. She must have been at least 90 because in mere seconds she was a dot on the horizon. She kept on going as if nothing happened. Never glanced my way, shrugged or made any sign that she almost killed both of us on a sunny Monday morning.

As the car passed me I wanted to see what person almost took me out of this life. It was a young woman, pushing her glasses back up on her nose. It’s an automatic reflex when you wear glasses that don’t fit well. Her car was packed to the rafters in the back seat, and she gave me no notice whatsoever. As if my life and hers meant nothing.

You would think my first feeling and reaction was anger. However, now that I have a more heart-centered feel for the world after my soul dog died a few weeks ago, the first thing out of my mouth was….

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

It was not lost on me that I had just asked my guides for protection. Trusted them. And went about my day. They were there for me and I am appreciative. I have never seen such a quick demonstration of protection or prayer answering in my life. It wasn’t lost on me, I am divinely protected! And I am humbled and gracious for the support.

Don’t forget to thank Spirit, your guides, your homies-in-spirit, your peeps, your light worker team. They are always there waiting for instruction. They offer no judgment, only support. Thank them. Talk to them. Plan great things with them. Do great things with them. Include them in all you do. Ask for specific help, things, support, ideas. Get granular, then step back and let them do their thing to assist. Believe me, they are ever present.

Love long and prosper.