Where the rubber meets the road

I am the kind of person who loves every blade of grass. My home and yard are neat, not out of control, and the wildflowers in summer are riotous! Birds come from all over to eat at the buffet I offer them. I’m tickled they visit. Lizards, centipedes and even snakes are welcome (Snakes usually pass through quickly and should be respected). Spiders are welcome in the house, as long as they are not big enough to pay rent. If they are large, then they either have to pony up the rent, or move out! I keep my place as natural as I can. Nature is critically important to my life.

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Lifelong dreams change form many times before reaching the goal

A good friend and were I talking about our dreams, how they come and go, each one almost coming to fruition and then fizzling out, disintegrating, and being out of reach. This can be disheartening and frustrating. The path seems to be right in front of you, only to disappear. The talk we had about having many things in life we each tried to bring to fruition that all seemed to fail, brought me to a new understanding.

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A new landscape: Big picture vs. small details

The dreams we weave on what could happen next are all in Big Picture mode. We get excited making things happen in our head, and it is the start of manifesting a new life. This is good! You should have dreams and goals. When details come filtering in, it must shift to a certain amount of day-to-day reality. It does not mean the dream ends. Not at all. But there is a certain shifting of the sails that has to happen for that dream to manifest. I’m in the middle of that now. This is where the good stuff, the hard stuff, the fun stuff happens.

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When dreams rise to the top

Many times over the years I have yearned to be out of the corporate workplace. When frustrated I would have dreams of switching to something more healing focused, like doing massage, Reiki, or physical therapy. Anything but sitting behind a computer in an atmosphere of push, push, push to make the bottom line. I spent 35 years as a graphic designer and seven as a coding supervisor pushing data around. It was not heart centered work, but I loved the people I worked with. We were all very lovely people, committed to the work and to each other.

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What a difference a day makes!

Within a 24-hour period a job I had, and loved, for over 16 years ended. I went from being employed to…semi-retired. From relatively financially comfortable to Oh No! My day yesterday was 95% Yippee Yahoo and 5% Oh $hit. I went in to clean out my desk and say goodbye to beloved coworkers. They seemed sad as they hugged me, and I assured them I was more worried about them, than about myself. I was going to retire! And my former co-workers had to band together and pick up the slack and make the company chug forward, as a third of the company was let go. That’s a huge task. But they are a small group of very committed and talented people.

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Dream that foretold events

Last night I had another dream about wanting a divorce and separating from a situation. I am divorced over 11 years and it feels good. But I thought I was over these types of dreams of release. I have felt the relief over and over of being out of that situation. (Well, relief like that never gets old.) I guess I had more to process. Or so I thought.

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The Churning Miasma, and the Cosmic 2×4

In my blog posts, I speak often of the Churning Miasma, and the Cosmic 2×4. What do I mean by these terms? Like my mother, I love to make up my own words and phrases. It’s the best way for me to quickly communicate something intangible in an easy to understand way. I love these terms because by themselves, they carry a visual weight. Can’t you just visualize the Cosmic 2×4 or the Churning Miasma? 

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Kintsugi and repairing painful experiences

Kintsugi “golden joinery”, also known as Kintsukuroi “golden repair”, is the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery with lacquer dusted mixed with powdered gold, silver, or platinum. As a philosophy, it treats breakage and repair as part of the history of an object, rather than something to disguise. Highlighting the cracks and repairs as simply an event in the life of an object rather than allowing its service to end at the time of its damage or breakage. Kintsugi can relate to the Japanese philosophy of “no mind” which encompasses the concepts of non-attachment, acceptance of change and fate as aspects of human life. (From Wikipedia.)

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Experiencing The Now

Oh what a blissful time that was when I found The Now, where no time existed. Due to months of various physical problems (which I am totally unaccustomed to) I was down and out, sicker than a dog. My IBS was in full swing and it was new to me. I also had flu-like symptoms that laid me flat out. Those flu symptoms came ever other week for many weeks. I had other things that were a huge source of worry and it was all too much for my little head to deal with. I’ve enjoyed a lifetime of health.

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Animals do say ‘hello’ from the other side

The following is a letter I wrote to a local artist last January after my horse died unexpectedly. Eight months earlier I lost my first horse, and three months before that, my best ever dog. 

Dear Debi, I wanted to tell you about how much your painting of a white horse in moonlight, Dancing Moon, affected me when I saw it in a gallery the other day. I had to make the decision to have my white horse put down the day of the Blue Moon on Tuesday.

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