The other day I was on the phone with a professional from a trusted company. On the call we were dealing with a problem. These things happen. However, I felt like a steam roller went over me. I was not being listened to…at all. I could not get a syllable in edgewise. Someone at his end screwed up. Each time I tried to speak, he interrupted again with his line of thinking, and…he was scolding me! At this point I felt totally humiliated, shamed and small, with a feeling of not knowing what just happened.Continue reading
My writing process involves actual physical feelings that occur as I work on stories. The paragraphs come alive, I have realizations, a-ha moments, and there is growth as I write. By the time I am done, the entire article has a glow felt in my body. Everything comes together and I feel a glow in my chest and abdomen as I write or proofread. It’s so cool. 🙂 I can tell which paragraphs need work because that physical feeling might be absent, or it does not feel good. When ideas are really popping I have a dozen stories in draft form at any one time. As I scan my list of drafts to decide which one to work on next I get a physical feeling—BOOM—and I have my answer. I chuckle to myself because this is not only fun, it’s awesome! It’s like having a secret super power. Eight months ago this was not true. It’s something that has recently developed. Probably due to my recent low points leaving me super sensitive to all that goes on.
In this post I want to talk about the actual physical feeling as I write because it is so new to me, and it is so awesome to have this ability. My previous post, The Crying Man was an experience important enough to write about. As I wrote, the feeling in my body was of nothingness. It felt very flat. This did not feel right by a long shot! I dropped the story and let it sit overnight. After working on it the next morning, the glow feeling started. It was excitement and butterflies in my gut. Now I was cooking with gas!
Often I find nuggets of gold, a-ha moments, discoveries that are uncovered gently as I write. I love it when that happens! That’s real magic. In my gut I can feel the energy of the story come out. This is what I’m talking about.
When I worked on the story about losing my horse Silver, it was difficult to write. Writing is a good way for me to process emotional trauma. As I finished the article, I had a physical feeling in my gut about each paragraph. A good feeling. It’s hard to describe but I can physically feel the story coming together. I can’t speak for anyone else. It’s not an intellectual thing, it’s more of a physical-feel-intuition-gut all at the same time thing. Readers should be able to see a-ha moments on the page because that’s how they happen. They organically happen as I write. What a cool super power! Often there is something in the story I didn’t know was there until I write about it. That’s the real treasure.
As I finish up stories I concentrate on the second half of the story and the juice flows, the feelings get stronger, the story gets clearer. Working further on The Crying Man story there was no longer a feeling of flat nothingness. The story was starting to undulate and come alive, and that feeling translated directly into my body. This is the up side to being a Sensitive and an Empath. The flip side of feeling so much of what is out there. Queue the familiar line from superhero movies “I only use my power for good, not for evil.”
Mainly I write for the benefit of processing information for my mental health. The reason I blog vs. a private journal is, there is something to be said for accountability and pressure, in a good way, to write for others. The writing becomes better, clearer, there is more purpose. Be aware of your body as a Geiger counter to life. You can discover much about yourself as you write, for your benefit and growth. Your body will tell you when things are getting good and juicy. That intangible thing is there, becoming tangible! Perhaps my experience will help one person. Let me know if it does!
Comments and dialogue are highly encouraged and welcome. “Likes” tell me someone is out there listening. Love and Light, ❤ Patty