Problems solving themselves: moving to the next level

All this year I have felt there has been a doorway to my energy, constantly opening and shutting. One day fully open, tons of energy, drive and good feelings abound. The next day it’s closed, no energy, no focus, no drive, nada. Like going through a revolving door and not getting anywhere but experiencing the frenetic thwump-thwuming of the door going round and round. Happy for the good days. Dismayed and frustrated at the bad.

Recently everything changed. I don’t know any other way to put it, but it seems many long-standing problems I’ve been dealing with are solving themselves.

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Don’t tough it out!

As I sat having difficult surgery on my mouth, teeth and gums to remove a cyst and receive a bone graft, I am pretty sure my blood pressure was sky high. I was determined to go into this emergency surgery with some guts and a ton of patience. Not wanting to hear the words ‘bone graft’ or ‘biopsy’ in the same conversation with my endodontist made this exceptionally hard to swallow.

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When does caring turn to interfering?

I have a deeply ingrained urge to help others, to be of assistance when I can. It’s part of being an empath. I feel strongly for others. I have a tendency to take someone under my wing and advise them if they seem needy. There are many people I listen to and never give advice to as they seem wiser than yours truly. But for those who seem like they could use a hand, I advise. I suggest. I hope. I inform. I try and give the information—the benefit of my own experience—to save them trouble. But where is that middle ground between helping and interfering? Between caring and expecting too much? Today I question my own motives in getting involved with others. People have their own path to walk, their own lessons to learn. I want to be able to let people have their own experiences. Will I be able to do this?

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I finally know what I want to be when I grow up.

Since I was a child I was crazy about, and always felt at home deep in nature. My happiest memories are out in the woods on a walk, or wading in the reeds at the edge of the lake watching the leopard frogs leap, sometimes spying a doe quietly watching me, or watching minnows swim by my feet as I walked along the shore.I know every inch of the acres of my mother’s property back home in Northern Wisconsin. I know every toadstool, bed of moss, insect, tree and plant.

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Where the rubber meets the road

I am the kind of person who loves every blade of grass. My home and yard are neat, not out of control, and the wildflowers in summer are riotous! Birds come from all over to eat at the buffet I offer them. I’m tickled they visit. Lizards, centipedes and even snakes are welcome (Snakes usually pass through quickly and should be respected). Spiders are welcome in the house, as long as they are not big enough to pay rent. If they are large, then they either have to pony up the rent, or move out! I keep my place as natural as I can. Nature is critically important to my life.

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The Hook of Anger, and Some Solutions

As hard as it is to admit I’m one of the worst for having an adult temper tantrum. It happens rarely, but when it does I wonder why I can let someone rattle my cage. I’m a devotee of the gentle and understated guru, Eckhart Tolle. I am also a disciple of all things Pema Chödrön. Pema is a lovely western Buddhist nun with a lot of solid, no-nonsense advice about how to not let yourself get hooked.

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‘Tis the season for self care!

A blogger I admire recently spoke about self care. I’d like to add my encouragement for you to practice self care, especially now, as the hectic season of holidays approach.

Start making your personal care come first. Practice early and often. Even a few errands may feel like a mountain of things to accomplish. Don’t beat yourself up when it comes to what you did not accomplish today or this week. Easy does it.

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Being flexible during painful experiences, and the gift of clear seeing.

The other day I was on the phone with a professional from a trusted company. On the call we were dealing with a problem. These things happen. However, I felt like a steam roller went over me. I was not being listened to…at all. I could not get a syllable in edgewise. Someone at his end screwed up. Each time I tried to speak, he interrupted again with his line of thinking, and…he was scolding me! At this point I felt totally humiliated, shamed and small, with a feeling of not knowing what just happened.

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The unexpected joys of working remotely

After 14 years at my last job I was allowed to work remotely toward the end of my tenure there. First it was two days remote per week. Then after two years, three days remote. This took awhile for me to adjust. I wondered what working totally remotely will look like, thing it would be lonely, boring or stifling.

Four and a half months ago I was laid off that job. Being home for four months, I had a lot of time to make adjustments to being home full time. That’s a lot of alone time for a single gal out in the sticks. There were physical and emotional adjustments being made. And honestly, a whole new landscape eventually showed itself to me. It took time to unfold, but by the end of four months, everything looked and felt different.

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