With much consideration I am taking down this website. I have grown past the need to blog about life’s ups and downs. My readership is slim which is on me for being lazy about digital marketing. Life is short and I want to live more of it offline.
I may be back in some capacity in a few years, as I am writing a book and have other things manifesting! I have enjoyed every comment, every like and every friend and connection I have made here.
A lasting piece of advice from the Bard.
When in doubt about life, yourself or the world in general you could live your life by embracing the following poem by Max Ehrmann.
Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment, it is as perennial as the grass. Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.
I am the kind of person who loves every blade of grass. My home and yard are neat, not out of control, and the wildflowers in summer are riotous! Birds come from all over to eat at the buffet I offer them. I’m tickled they visit. Lizards, centipedes and even snakes are welcome (Snakes usually pass through quickly and should be respected). Spiders are welcome in the house, as long as they are not big enough to pay rent. If they are large, then they either have to pony up the rent, or move out! I keep my place as natural as I can. Nature is critically important to my life.
The other day I was on the phone with a professional from a trusted company. On the call we were dealing with a problem. These things happen. However, I felt like a steam roller went over me. I was not being listened to…at all. I could not get a syllable in edgewise. Someone at his end screwed up. Each time I tried to speak, he interrupted again with his line of thinking, and…he was scolding me! At this point I felt totally humiliated, shamed and small, with a feeling of not knowing what just happened.
The dreams we weave on what could happen next are all in Big Picture mode. We get excited making things happen in our head, and it is the start of manifesting a new life. This is good! You should have dreams and goals. When details come filtering in, it must shift to a certain amount of day-to-day reality. It does not mean the dream ends. Not at all. But there is a certain shifting of the sails that has to happen for that dream to manifest. I’m in the middle of that now. This is where the good stuff, the hard stuff, the fun stuff happens.
Within a 24-hour period a job I had, and loved, for over 16 years ended. I went from being employed to…semi-retired. From relatively financially comfortable to Oh No! My day yesterday was 95% Yippee Yahoo and 5% Oh $hit. I went in to clean out my desk and say goodbye to beloved coworkers. They seemed sad as they hugged me, and I assured them I was more worried about them, than about myself. I was going to retire! And my former co-workers had to band together and pick up the slack and make the company chug forward, as a third of the company was let go. That’s a huge task. But they are a small group of very committed and talented people.
Last night I had another dream about wanting a divorce and separating from a situation. I am divorced over 11 years and it feels good. But I thought I was over these types of dreams of release. I have felt the relief over and over of being out of that situation. (Well, relief like that never gets old.) I guess I had more to process. Or so I thought.
Kintsugi “golden joinery”, also known as Kintsukuroi “golden repair”, is the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery with lacquer dusted mixed with powdered gold, silver, or platinum. As a philosophy, it treats breakage and repair as part of the history of an object, rather than something to disguise. Highlighting the cracks and repairs as simply an event in the life of an object rather than allowing its service to end at the time of its damage or breakage. Kintsugi can relate to the Japanese philosophy of “no mind” which encompasses the concepts of non-attachment, acceptance of change and fate as aspects of human life. (From Wikipedia.)
A few years after my divorce and I was finally feeling pretty good. As I was driving to work on my long commute I was thinking, what do I really want to have in my life that I truly desire? Maybe there is something I have put off that I have forgotten about? Really reach out there and think about what I want that I had denied myself. Make it really big! A few ideas came to mind and then I realized what would be the jackpot. How about a life with horses in it? Something I had wanted my whole life but never attained. Yes. Exactly! I would be over the moon if I could spend my time with horses.
After work in summer I take my dogs for a cool walk down my little river. During irrigation, the river is about one inch deep and mostly stagnant. The river boasts crayfish, gigantic arroyo frogs, dragonflies, butterflies, dark fishing spiders, tons of minnows and other wildlife. Because I recently had to deal with a rattlesnake I said out loud, “Hey is there anything up the river I need to be aware of?” The answer was both felt and heard. “Yes.” Me: “Oh, good. Wait! Is it deadly?” “No.” I could feel this in the core of my entire body, head to toe, as an unmistakable feeling of confirmation. Probably the strongest physical confirmation I have ever received. Consider me warned. I would be on the lookout for…whatever, and it was not going to kill me. Well now doesn’t that sound promising.