Boundaries, encounters, reflection, and a new path

 Do you have friends that once you are off the phone with them, you wonder why they are in your life? Do you wonder why you still hang out with someone who is not good for your energy, your mental health, who doesn’t bring much to the table? Yet they don’t have a mean bone in their body? After all they just want to be friends, and they deserve company too. There is nothing wrong with just wanting to be friends, right? Recently more and more is happening to make me aware of the fact that I need to take some action, one way or the other, instead of settling for the status quo. I resist visits or chats because I think…why oh why am I going to let my vibe go back down to this level? This is not said or thought of in a privileged way at all. It’s more of a state of self protection for the good vibe I’ve worked so hard to achieve.

How do you tell someone to stop looking at their phone (texting or talking) during your time together? How do you tell someone that you’d like it if just once they ask how you are doing? I have a friend who knows I have been through a challenging year, and they never ask how I am feeling, what’s up, what’s going on. If I tell them I had a bad experience, they skip right over what I say without an acknowledgment and keep talking about their life. Or worse they gossip about someone else’s life. (I can’t abide gossip.) That makes me sad, and makes me feel like I am the entertainment committee. Which leads to me feeling selfish for even having that thought.

Now the questions start. I wonder about the many facets of this problem. I am protective of my alone time. I live out in the sticks because nature feeds my soul and it keeps me sane and grounded. But it keeps me away from being social. Always a double-edged sword to live so far out. Does spending a lot of time on my own make me snotty, stubborn, or exclusive? Maybe it is smart that I protect myself as much as possible from the wrong type of encounter. Or that I feed my soul as much as I do with time spent alone, or with quality people. Does it seem I am being exclusive? Rude? Stubborn? Hoity-toity? I have worked so hard for my safety and security.

However being more open (less stubborn) might be called for because I could be losing the openness to be wrong, to stumble on something new, to have an open heart. Balance is key here, and I know stubbornness is my stumbling block. By being ‘safe’ out in the sticks, living my life without much contact am I missing out on another type of companionship, camaraderie, and social connections? Maybe the effort to feel safe is not serving me anymore? These are questions I ask myself. It’s the flip side of the protect thyself coin. In hopes of finding an answer, I ask myself a ton of questions to make sure I’m not being a jerk. I call it a ruthless self-evaluation. This is during a time where I want to be more social and get out more. As irritating as the problem is, I think it is good timing. 

There always seem there is a bit more work to be done to have healthy boundaries. I’ve come a long way. For years I was the world’s doormat but I’m not in that place now. So maybe this is one more whorl of the river. It’s a tricky place. You can’t shut people out of your life unless they are totally toxic. Then it’s a must, but I have found that to be rare. Boundaries should be flexible enough to let the new and unexpected in, while feeling respected and honored by the presence of others. Good boundaries also means respecting others in your life. It means giving them the respect they deserve as well. It’s a two way street. It calls for more minute, fine maneuvering in the river of life. 

Even though some people may be ignorant of their social trespass, the problem remains. Ignorance does not excuse bad behavior. It must be handled somehow. I guess it’s one more level of detail I have been missing in terms of gentle communication. Here comes the lesson on runway two! There must be one more way for me to negotiate the river and find the best way make it clear, in a compassionate way, how I would like to be respected. That’s better than just dumping someone, isn’t it? It’s more humane. More detail in a finite matter. This is good. These tiny gray areas are where we learn about ourselves, and do a kindness to others. That kindness can be information they didn’t know before, that helps them negotiate their way through life. This is growth for both parties. Growth is good. 

An example of gentle and helpful communication was many years ago I was still in a bad marriage. To cope and come out of a depressed state, I was on a popular anti-depressant. Let us say it woke me up a bit and I got rather chatty. Feeling I had a voice. I was elated! I went to a party with a dear and trusted friend. At one point my friend tugged me on the sleeve and whispered in my ear,

“Maybe you are not aware, Pat, but you are interrupting every person here. I know you are excited and have a new found voice, but you have to let others speak. Tone down your excitement and listen a bit.”

Oh my I was stunned to learn what I was doing. I thought I was joining in joking, laughing, and sharing. But I could see his point. Since I was told this in a gentle and loving way, I was able to better manage my enthusiasm and channel it into listening and replying at a more appropriate time. The advice didn’t get my hackles up because my friend used a gentle tone of voice. He was sincere. This is advice I still take with me today. I also learned to ask about the other person a lot more than I talk about myself. People like me that live alone tend to get chatty when we meet other human beings! 😉

Compassionately communicating to those I feel disrespected by, gently telling them what I would like in my life is being true to myself, and helpful to the recipient. Sound and words have power. Speaking words that need to be spoken in your own defense must have great power. I need to speak out loud the words that outline what I need for the basics of feeling respected. I guess now that I put it that way, it doesn’t sound so bad. Not so black and white. Not so terrible to tell someone you need a little respect during a friendly visit. I just need a little courage. Already a new path forward is being forged. All from an irritating thorn in my side and then some good old fashioned investigating and evaluating of the self.

Comments and dialogue are encouraged and welcome. Likes tell me someone is listening. ❤ Love and Light, Patty.

The huge difference between want and desire.

How seldom do we go outside our comfort zone to think about and ask for something we really want in our lives? Rarely is my guess. This is the story of how I decided to make horses part of my life. My horses are gone about a year at the time of this writing, but I had them for almost five years at the end of their lives. It was something I will treasure until I draw my last breath. I hope this story inspires you to do likewise. What have you got to lose by wishing for something you truly desire?

My commute is long, but beautiful. For the most part I have lovely orange mesas and buttes dotted with piñon, cedar, four-wing salt bush, sage, juniper, and rabbitbrush. The mesas look polka dotted with all that brush! The skies open up and the clouds do their dance above, whirling and swirling for our delight. Here in New Mexico, the large expanse of blue sky is the star of the show. This long and relaxing commute makes for much time for thinking. I had two hours each day of this lovely tableau. Time for much thought.

It had taken three years after my divorce to unwind my inner spring and relax to the point where I did not think something bad was about to happen. That process was needed, but it was over. Life was finally finding the new normal. I felt I was finally in the driver’s seat. One morning on the way to work I had a thought. As I crested the hill going into town, I asked myself, ‘What do you want in your life, Pat?’ Remembering the advice of a friend from many years ago, I replaced the word want with desire. That one word changed everything!

I had been denied so much in the past and I wanted to have a life of my own creation. Among my hobbies were weaving and playing with hot glass. I also love working with power tools and building things. I’ve raised all kinds of ducks, geese and birds. I’d studied tarot for many years, and was comfortable with it. But there was room for something more heart-filling, more satisfying. Something to bring me joy put put me outside of my comfort zone at the same time.

The answer came to me out of a fog, out of the back recesses of my mind from a time long ago. When the answer popped into my head, it surprised me. Horses! I almost didn’t think of it because I was denied my wish as a child. And probably rightly so due to the fact that we lived in town, not on a farm, and I was one of four children. Both parents worked full time careers. Since one parent was a high-functioning alcoholic, they fought constantly—every night. There was never any peace, no normalcy. No place for a wispy little girl dream of horses to fly in and settle into that bumpy, messy life.

When I was a little girl I wanted a horse! I ached for it with body and soul. Just the opportunity to ride one would have put me over the moon. That seemed like such a far away dream. Growing up I knew horses were expensive, and therefore, out of reach. But here in New Mexico everyone of every financial status seemed to have a horse or two.

When I was about eight years old my mother knew I wanted so badly to have a horse in my life. She signed me up for ten lessons at a stable in a nearby town. It was where my neighbors down the block kept their horses. These were people with expensive hunter jumper champions. At least I was able to catch a ride with them and take lessons. So I did have that dream somewhat satisfied when I was young, thanks to my mother. I remember those days clearly as the best days of my childhood.

I rode a large black horse named Julie that adults avoided like the plague. Julie was a difficult horse for others, pitching riders over her as she suddenly stopped, or balking or rearing up. She played tricks on her riders and was difficult on purpose. But she and I got along just fine, thank you very much! Julie is long gone, but those memories are as clear and sharp as if they happened yesterday. As any horse person knows, riding and being around horses only makes you want more of the same. You can’t get enough. It’s a fever, A deep seated need to be near such a strong yet yielding gentle and obedient animal. They are so powerful they do not realize their own strength. That’s part of their charm. The ten lessons went by in the blink of an eye and that was that for many years.

Now that my horses are gone, it is time once again to go in deeply and see what I desire in this life. Horses will come again at a later time, when I am retired. That will be sooner rather than later. (Big smile) But something is missing. A companion is missing. That is a hard thing to go seeking these days in the age of online dating. Especially for those of us starting our seventh decade. I know I must be flexible, open, and above all, I must be absolutely authentic right down to my toenails. A partner for me must be likewise.

As the new year beckons, I am preparing myself for this jump to light speed. If you think I’m not scared, you would be wrong! The reward for the risk is the excitement at meeting another like-minded person I can converse with and have fun with. To me, that’s the most important skill they must possess. Conversing. It is what I crave. Spending time in harmony might not be such a bad thing. It is not what I want, but what I desire. Stay tuned for the further adventures of a back woods animal lover and desert mystic with a wry sense of humor, out on the hunt! Gah! 😉

Comments and dialogue are encouraged and welcome. Likes tell me someone is listening. Love and Light, Patty.

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The Churning Miasma, and the Cosmic 2×4

In my blog posts, I speak often of the Churning Miasma, and the Cosmic 2×4. What do I mean by these terms? Like my mother, I love to make up my own words and phrases. It’s the best way for me to quickly communicate something intangible in an easy to understand way. I love these terms because by themselves, they carry a visual weight. Can’t you just visualize the Cosmic 2×4 or the Churning Miasma? 

The Churning Miasma

When I face ongoing problems and I feel mired down, if I could see what I was going through, I’d see everything I’m thinking about, worried about, exploring, talking about, investigating, and creating. It would be about three feet above my head in a huge churning gray whirlpool. It’s too much to take in. I can’t focus or see any one thing. It wont’ slow down. It’s a giddy feeling because then I know I am on the cusp of understanding something. I call this The Churning Miasma. It seems the only way to describe this. 

I need to be still and stop searching for logical reasons about what’s going on during this time period. Trying to pull it apart and discover what it’s all about is useless. The churning miasma is not something that can be picked apart and analyzed. Nor can it be slowed down. It must be left alone to do it’s thing. Sitting still now and then would be better. Eventually it all coalesces after days or weeks, and it drops in my head and heart in a nanosecond. Even after that happens, I cannot say exactly what was learned, or *grocked. I know that new material is in me. I can sense it inside me and it feels better! The Churning Miasma is a process of learning, experiencing, and understanding. But it is so uncomfortable while it is happening. Isn’t there always chaos before change? 

*Grocked: Coined by Robert A. Heinlein in his novel Stranger in a Strange Land, 1961, in which the word is described as being from the word for “to drink” and, figuratively, “to drink in all available aspects of reality”, “to become one with the observed” in Heinlein’s fictitious Martian language. 

The Cosmic 2×4

When something is trying to show itself to me but I’m not getting it that’s when the Cosmic 2×4 comes in. Have you ever heard the saying that when the Universe/Spirit is trying to get your attention first it’s a tap on the shoulder. Then a bit harder if you don’t notice, then bonk on the head or the brick wall to finally get your attention. That’s what I’m talking about. That happens to me a lot. Apparently I need three, four, or five instances to get it through my thick skull whatever is being shown to me.

I always feel like such a dolt for having been so unable to see or understand the new something was coming my way. Some new way of seeing. Some new way of letting go of the old and trying the new. Some new path opens up to me. I love having the new vision or insight and am always in gratitude. But yep, I kinda feel silly when my eyes open after the fact, that I was so stubborn I could not see it. It’s then I look back and can so easily see the ‘taps’ or hints I was getting previous to the Cosmic 2×4. How did I not see it or get it? Huh. Funny. 

You can go over my past blog entries and look for the words Cosmic 2×4 and find what I’m talking about. I always think next time I won’t be so stubborn, so unable to see the lesson. But still I am presented with that Cosmic 2×4 every now and again. It makes one humble! Lately I am able to see when the Cosmic 2×4 might be hovering around. So that is something new. Like I might be on the cusp of understanding and I’ll say, “Well I don’t want that Cosmic 2×4 coming around so I better pay attention here!” Like that. I am becoming bit more open to seeing, and a bit less stubborn. 

Do you use any self-made jargon? If you have any instances of your own churning miasma, or cosmic 2×4, I’d love to hear it. Or anything you’ve made up yourself to help describe your life’s journey. 

Comments and dialogue are encouraged and welcome. Likes tell me someone is listening. Love and Light, Patty.

Kintsugi and repairing painful experiences

Kintsugi “golden joinery”, also known as Kintsukuroi “golden repair”, is the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery with lacquer dusted mixed with powdered gold, silver, or platinum. As a philosophy, it treats breakage and repair as part of the history of an object, rather than something to disguise. Highlighting the cracks and repairs as simply an event in the life of an object rather than allowing its service to end at the time of its damage or breakage. Kintsugi can relate to the Japanese philosophy of “no mind” which encompasses the concepts of non-attachment, acceptance of change and fate as aspects of human life. (From Wikipedia.)

When I lost my horse Silver, I experienced an act of kindness I will never forget. When my horse lay on the ground close to death, a friend and experienced horsewoman had me sit at his head and take each thumb and gently stroke inside his ears at the tips. She said “This will feel good to him, it’s a pressure point, and it will help calm you down as well. We have done all that is possible, so just let everything go and sit with your horse.” I am glad I did, because I didn’t realize I would not see him again. I thanked him for the wonderful years together, the glorious fast rides out in the desert, and his goofy demeanor and friendship. I am forever indebted to the wisdom of my friend Kristin. This act of kindness was a knitting together of the broken pieces that were already coming apart. I did not know it then.

Regarding Kintsugi: “Not only is there no attempt to hide the damage, but the repair is literally illuminated… The vicissitudes of existence over time, to which all humans are susceptible, could not be clearer than in the breaks, the knocks, and the shattering to which ceramic ware too is subject. This poignancy or aesthetic of existence has been known in Japan as mono no aware, a compassionate sensitivity, or perhaps identification with, [things] outside oneself.”  — Christy Bartlett, Flickwerk: The Aesthetics of Mended Japanese Ceramics

With Kintsugi, the damage is part of the story of the piece and is not hidden or swept under the rug. Kintsugi makes the piece whole, new, and beautiful. In terms of healing a heart it makes the trauma part of your story but it is a healed trauma. It is a new part of you and your story. Sitting with my horse as he lay close to death was hard, but it was the art of Kintsugi, making a repair, and pulling together the old pieces to make a new whole.

If you have pieces of your life’s experience that feel broken or damaged, think of the art of Kintsugi, and how those experiences make up part of who you are. They are part of a whole that makes up everything you currently are. Don’t dismiss them, and don’t embrace the damage itself as all you are either. It is part of a larger whole. In time, bad circumstances and negative events will become clearer to you. Think of the art of Kintsugi and perhaps the pain of past events will make more sense to you than they did at the time those events happened to you.

As Jim Carey said at his commencement speech at Maharishi University of Management…

“Choose love, and don’t ever let fear turn you against your playful heart.”

Comments and dialogue are encouraged and welcome. Likes tell me someone is listening. Love and Light, Patty.

The energy of living in harmony

And how my eyes were opened.

Yesterday I saw my friend of 33 years to the airport after spending 8 days with her. My friend “F” is a person I have known since freshman year in college. We met in drawing class on the third floor of the art building and have been close friends ever since. We were roommates at one point during our senior year together. Many people said that was a bad idea because she had been engaged to my brother and that had broken apart. But we had a grand time sharing an apartment, working jobs, and taking a full load of college credits. Our friendship was built on mutual trust, admiration, and lots of fun during a busy time in our lives. We were, and still are, like sisters.

Until this visit I had not seen my friend for over 18 years. We chat on the phone every few weeks, and have ever since we went our own ways after college. We were at each other’s weddings, and we both got divorced out of bad marriages after years of devotion to the wrong person. I went to Minneapolis, Manhattan, and then my current home in New Mexico. She also went to Minneapolis, then Oregon. I live in the lovely high desert, enchanted by its continual exotic beauty, and dry climate, and she to the lovely west coast of the country with gentle gray cloud cover, pattering rain, and the ocean. Dry vs wet, what a contrast. We both love where we live and we both felt drawn to the places we are at now.

After a year of trying to figure out how and where to meet, my friend suggested “Why don’t I make it to your front door and go from there. I want to see your home and all the things you talk about.” Done! Our visit was wonderful, magical. Some planning, mostly spur of the moment. My friend F met my good friend K and it was fun for my two good friends to meet each other. Sharing friends is a very special experience.

F and I did cultural things such as witnessing the dances at Feast day at the Jemez Pueblo with rock star seating! We sat right in front of the sacred building, a kiva where the dancers emerge to start the dances. In this sacred building, you can only enter and exit through a hole in the ceiling via ladder. It was bitter cold, but bright, sunny and magical!

We soaked in a local hot springs, shopped at small local art shops in a mountain town where we met two old ladies playing a card game called ‘spite and malice’ taught to them by a catholic nun.

We walked the labyrinth at Ghost Ranch, home and inspiration of artist and painter, Georgia O’Keeffe. We shopped at Santa Fe on the square, where the Native American’s sell lovely hand made jewelry. We stayed in a hotel way above our normal price range for one evening living in luxury. I also met another friend “D” who just happened to be in town that night. I had not seen her for 12 years. Now my two old friends would meet. What a kick in the pants for me! A joy! Things aligning for my pleasure!

F and I also tooled along old back roads in New Mexico, walked the dogs at my normal haunts, saw the seven-month-old foal at my neighbors, and had a perfect relaxed trip. We stayed home some evenings cooking and visiting. I can see the Milky Way out here. But F is not able to see many stars where she lives so one evening we moved my love seat to the huge window facing the river and watched her favorite constellation Orion march his arc overhead while we sipped wine. We experienced culture, the sacred, and the beautiful natural landscape. We had Girl Time, shopped, drank a little wine, ate chocolate, and had a trip to remember. It was not packed, nor rushed. It was all just right. After eight days I was still ready for more, the energy and her company were so welcome. 

While my friend was here I never had one worry about any of my medical problems that has cropped up in the last year. None of them presented what so ever! That was quite a revelation. Being so in the moment, so enjoying another person’s company, my mind was not on myself. Finally I was not over thinking things. I was off my computer and out of my head.

My friend was a perfect companion in every way. She was thoughtful, considerate, helpful, and a joy to have in the house. She got along with my pets, especially one considered very difficult to be around, she managed with great ease. She was utterly flexible, cheerful, a lovely person to converse with, had clean habits, and seemed to know my every need before I knew. My Sister from another Mister.

Being alone for 11 years has been needed and glorious after my nightmare marriage. There are pockets of time where I still revel in being alone, but it is getting old. For eight days I experienced fresh, lovely energy. My friend’s visit taught me there are benefits to having someone around with love and harmonious energy. I want being with a man to be that wonderful. Why can’t I manifest this through the Law of Attraction?  Now there’s a thought! I miss having a companion. I miss having another person in the house who is of the same mind, the same harmonious energy. This experience created a shift in my perception. It opened my eyes. Sometimes it takes first hand experience to show you something you didn’t know you were missing. 

A man suitable to me is something I have never experienced. But I feel ready for it. That’s a really big—we’re talking huge—revelation and admittance for me. My worries about searching for the perfect Mister are all but gone. For me, that is good news, because I can be very stubborn. For this experience I am deeply in gratitude. I will not be looking for Prince Charming on a white horse, although any old raggedy plow horse, a goat or two, some chickens and a few dogs, would be welcome at my home. A gentle old teddy bear who is full of love and fun will suffice. I’m ready. And I said these words in public, to the world! (My inner me just gasped! LOL)  

I find every vacation, every time away from normal life, to be eye opening. What do you find changed after you have had time away from your normal life? Great things I hope! 🙂 

Comments and dialogue are encouraged and welcome. Likes tell me someone is listening. ❤ Love and Light, Patty.

Making your ‘bad quality’ work for you

A friend had the observation that being stubborn has upsides. True that. I figured every bad quality must have an upside. Doesn’t everything have a good and bad, undesirable quality to it? So, let’s take the human condition and flip some things.

I can be very stubborn, and I know it is not a desirable quality. But there are instances where being stubborn fits the bill perfectly. Working on a job until it is done, that’s a good part of being stubborn. I call it stick-to-itiveness. A great example for me was my friend who was working on the plumbing under my house. He did not give up. He is a very patient and quiet man. To hear him swearing and getting mad is so rare I knew the plumbing was confounding him. He kept at it all day until the problem was fixed and made better than the original plumbing. Had he given up I’d have been forced to call a plumber, which in the sticks, is rare as hen’s teeth. No one wants to drive all the way from town to get here. I’d have been stuck for a long time. Thanks to his stubborn nature, I had running water!

The flip side of my empathic abilities of feeling everything are the physical feelings I get as I write. Feeling everything can be a good thing, not something to dread or hide.

This also brings to mind the need to temper our negative quality when needed. Let’s take the hand we were dealt and make it work for us, instead of against us. It doesn’t happen overnight, but it is a worthwhile project, no? Having an undesirable quality can now be seen as positive.

A warning that we should not celebrate our ‘undesirable’ traits by saying “Yay! I’m stubborn and I can treat people any way I wish!” Nope. That’s not what I am getting at. It means perhaps channeling those qualities into a positive outcome. Again the line of “using your powers for good, not evil” comes to mind.

What are some qualities that may be turned around and seen as good? What quality do you have that you might view as negative, that you can flip? What can you work on that might make you thankful for having that otherwise bad trait? This could be a really fun and enriching exercise if you take it to heart.

Comments and dialogue are encouraged and welcome. Likes tell me someone is listening. Love and Light, Patty.

Surrender Dorothy, and all that implies

Recently I was chatting with a friend. We both felt that we were each experiencing lives of confusion and both of us felt a bit out of control. Our discussion lead us to deduce each of us would best be served by letting go and embracing it all. A phrase ‘stop pushing the river’ comes to mind. It’s not a place you can go to with your thinking brain. You must let go. That takes trust. I feel I have a big ‘something’ coming up. I know I must let go and sink into it to come back to the surface. As I was talking to my friend the phrase “Surrender Dorothy” came to mind from the movie, The Wizard of Oz. It is a perfect reminder to let go when worry starts in. Accomplishing this would have to be at a non-verbal place inside me. It’s hard to explain or wrap my head around, because words don’t seem to adequately express this idea, and that’s okay.

Surrender Dorothy could be my watch phrase for recent hurdles I am facing. Detach from caring about the outcome and surrendering to my true north. Yup. I know I have to do it. But can I? I’m not the kind of person who can easily take my hands off the steering wheel. But I must. This is not something you can intellectualize. You cannot plan for this to happen, or force it. You cannot say…

“I will detach and be in free fall so that I can experience this uncomfortable thing, so that I can have a breakthrough, an epiphany.”

It does not happen that way. For me it is not second nature to let go and surrender to what is happening. Especially when experiencing chaos, illness, or physical and emotional pain. Instead we want to protect ourselves and always be in a happy moving-forward place. Growth takes place in uncomfortable spots. Going outside your comfort zone makes you stronger. Surrendering to what is may be the best thing to do. But I am not sure how to let go enough for that to happen.

Every time I come up against another hurdle, even a small one, I am starting to change how I approach life. Instead of saying “How can I fix this? What is the best path forward? Quickly get a fix in place!” I remind myself to accept what is happening and sink back to that feeling, whatever it is. Let it roll over me. Let it come. Surrender Dorothy. I want to face what is going on, and surrender to the need to be in control and fix things. My experience with Buddhism may come in handy, as the mindset of ‘having tea with your demons’ is a practice put forward by Pema Chödrön. I understand the idea. I love the idea! And I can do that for small fears that come visiting. It’s kind of like saying ‘everything is as it should be’ and ‘this too shall pass”. But the big stuff. The stuff that keeps hanging on and on. The hard stuff. That’s different. It seems like a wall I cannot scale. I must stop asking why, and how, and instead sink down into the comfort that I am finally where I should be, so I can become one with it, and like the peacock, turn poison into medicine, pushing beyond my fears.

Comments and dialogue are encouraged and welcome. Likes tell me someone is listening. Love and Light, Patty.

The New Normal is where it’s at

When life presents you changes, stop trying to go back to normal. If you are trying to get back to the old normal that may not be possible. With all my challenges, I have found a way to get through with some sanity. Ditch the old normal. Find the new normal, the new habit, path, the new way. There is much less resistance there. Stop trying to push the river, instead go with the flow. And be in gratitude!

Comments and dialogue are encouraged and welcome. Likes tell me someone is listening. Love and Light, Patty.

How flipping things can change your attitude

As I was out changing the water for my goose, I was thinking it was Thursday, giddy at the thought that I had one more day to work before the weekend. For years I had a work schedule that allowed me to work from my home two days a week. Recently that schedule changed so I was working different days from home. At first the new schedule tends to slip me up. On the old schedule ear the end of the week, I’d be working at home, and the next day would be Friday. So in my mind, that day late in the week I am working from home is Thursday. I’ve been doing that schedule for years.

When I realized it was not Thursday, it’s only Wednesday, I felt let down. Then in the next second I thought, how silly it is that? I have done this for a few weeks now, mistaking Wednesday for Thursday, the coveted Friday-eve day. Using the tool I call flipping it, I discovered I had experienced not one but two days in the week that felt like the work week was almost over. That doesn’t suck, and it makes me feel so happy to have flipped it in that way. I was able to laugh at myself.

Although this seems like very small potatoes, this sort of thinking is very beneficial to a good outlook on life. Thinking like this makes me a happy person, laughing at myself. It makes me feel like I have a hold of my life in a very positive light. It makes me feel like a positive person at heart. The best benefit is that flipping it in this small way leads to flipping almost everything else. Now THAT is a happy life! It can lead to larger flips and larger happy realizations. Things start to flip automatically in your mind and you feel like you are really on a high wave. You don’t have to think about flipping something because your mind will be so used to it, it will happen automatically. You start looking for the silver lining in everything. It opens your mind to better things.

Next time you feel frustrated by even the tiniest thing, try and flip it in any way possible. After all, its your mind that you are flipping, not the situation. And as we all know, the only thing we really ever have control of is how we react to a situation. Happy Flipping!

Comments and dialogue are encouraged and welcome. Likes tell me someone is listening. Love and Light, Patty.

Experiencing The Now

Oh what a blissful time that was when I found The Now, where no time existed. Due to months of various physical problems (which I am totally unaccustomed to) I was down and out, sicker than a dog. My IBS was in full swing and it was new to me. I also had flu-like symptoms that laid me flat out. Those flu symptoms came ever other week for many weeks. I had other things that were a huge source of worry and it was all too much for my little head to deal with. I’ve enjoyed a lifetime of health.

I was in my guest room, a brightly colored room with ‘mango madness’ paint on the walls, and items from around the world that lent a lovely flair to the room. It is a room I hardly spend any time in, so it was a welcome change. I had a futon that looked out onto my yard and a large portion of the lovely blue New Mexico sky. As I lay there with my dogs, I was so sick I could not move. It is a very rare occurrence in my world that I am unable to physically do anything. My mind is a ‘doing mind’ and forever searching for things to fix, repair, create, or explore. Resigning to the moment was inevitable in my current physical state.

I lay there taking in the warmth of the sunshine in the afternoon sky. This felt good. As I stared out the window time seemed to stretch out on either side of me, to the left and to the right. It stretched out to infinity. Time seemed to stop and there I was. Now. Not elsewhere in my mind. Experiencing the present moment. I’ve had the experience of time stopping in dreams, but I have never had it stop for hours at a time. This was delicious!

I am nearing retirement enough to think about what it might be like as a single person. Will it be fun? Lonely? Will I ache for some ‘purpose’ after my first week of freedom? Or will I embrace the time I have left by exploring more of my world? We never know these things until we get there. People like me thrive on a purpose outside ourselves. I am not a person who watches TV in the daytime unless it is Sunday and I am into watching baking shows or that Antiques Road Show while I bake or clean. Even then it’s rare. I have a friend who does nothing but watch TV in his tiny, dark living room. It feel bad for him, except I know it is what he wants to do. Still, I fear living like that, where all I do is watch the boob tube all day. I have heard that watching TV is like painting your third eye with black paint. Agreed!

As I experienced the Now time, I felt that my retirement, or any time for that matter, would be a wonderful opportunity for me to explore all I have wanted to explore, but have not had the time. I rarely get out or engage with others, due to my needing and desiring to live in nature, in the boonies. It’s lovely but it is far from civilization. Needing nature but wanting to be social at the same time is polarizing. In the Now, I imagined myself going to a nearby city to learn about Shamanism, practice my tarot, join a nearby group, or go to the lovely farmer’s market where they have bands play as you shop for fresh produce. I imagined and could feel to my right and left time stretching out to infinity with me in the middle of this lovely tableau of life, feeling no pressure whatsoever. I finally felt free to do as I pleased and it was good.

The Now Time did not last long, but it was utterly delicious and I had no fear at all of the future. The experience gave me a totally new-to-me perspective. A new set of eyes to look out of. For me the Cosmic 2×4 had struck again. Yes it takes a lot to get me to pay attention. I know when I am experiencing something like this, the Universe/Spirit has been trying to get my attention in order to help me see something. It takes so much to get through to me due to my stubborn nature. This was not meditation, intuition, or insight. This was cosmic guidance. I wish I were a bit more aware so I could see things more easily. Then there would be no need to have me thrown off a horse, laid low with illness, or whatever else needed for me to slow down enough to see the world in a different light. Have you ever experienced time slowing down, or stopping, so you are just in the moment? If you have, I would love to hear about your experience.

Comments and dialogue are encouraged and welcome. Likes tell me someone is listening. Love and Light, Patty.