Before I moved to New Mexico, my life was very different. In that I was a people pleaser to the point where it eclipsed my own life. It was totally alien to me to go outside of that construct and actually do something I wanted to for myself. I was more focused on making those around me happy, and desperately not wanting to be rejected. Worse yet, I did not want to rock the boat. I wanted so badly to be accepted, and was constantly seeking approval. For many years, I found myself in victim mode during a bad relationship, and it was hard to shake. I am a kind-hearted person, but I had poor boundaries. I was the world’s doormat. Having an open heart is only part of the equation. I had no respect for myself. I had really good intentions and an open heart, but I was a mess! I was living the wrong life.
It’s hard to say exactly when my intuition started growing, but it was shortly before leaving a horrible, manipulative, emotionally abusive marriage. Intuition kept growing and growing inside me, and inside my heart, as surely as a delicate blade of grass grows through a crack in the rock-hard concrete. Before my epiphany, I was not living the life I wanted. The divorce was the turning point, and living through those changes opened me up. And yes, I rocked the boat in a big way!
It took several years to unwind my inner spring after the divorce. It took a few more years after that to start relaxing into the new me. Those years I refer to as The Long Exhale. My hour long commute twice a day through the lovely desert gave me a lot of time to think. One day I thought to myself, what do I really desire? What dream have I put off that I would like to revisit or make happen? A life including horses was something that, as a young person growing up, was impossible. Not attainable or even something I could consider. Growing up, we had no space for a horse, and my parents had three other children to bring up. How could they afford to buy me a horse and all that went with it? It was out of the question. I made the mistake of thinking horses were for rich people. Suffice it to say, it was never on my radar at all. Not even as an adult.
As I discovered more about my blossoming intuition, and using the energy of the Universe to co-create my life, I was able to live my impossible dream of having horses. Now I have two horses and ride almost every weekend, and I would not give up my horses for anything! My horses continue to teach me about being a powerful yet compassionate soul in a world that often seems full of chaos and drama.
Years ago I did not believe in use of crystals, channeling, psychic readings, tarot, or numerology, but now these are part of my everyday life. Today my tarot deck is used almost daily and I have come to learn about the true meanings and energy of the cards. I could not imagine giving a tarot reading and not incorporating numerology—The two go hand in hand. My collection of crystals is growing, as is my knowledge of how to incorporate them in my life. A woman who uses essential oils has been educating me about them. I have recently experienced a ‘sound healing’ session that really blew me away. I have dabbled in channeling and enjoyed it. In Reiki I experienced a movement of a large ball of energy during one of my sessions as a student. I felt a huge ball of something stop my hands in mid air as I was whooshing my hand from the head of my subject to their feet. That’s pretty hard to deny since my hands were a foot above the body!
Now, my life is vastly different. It is full of vivid psychic ‘hits’, daily intuition and guidance, full blown moving highly detailed visions during the day, and dreams or premonitions that come true, sometimes within hours. Mostly it’s the vivid visions I have and the intuitive hits that keep speaking to me. I can’t deny there are Universal forces and energies that we can interact with to help us direct and create our lives. I can see it helps direct me to whatever I am trying to manifest in my life. Really what is happening is co-creation with the Universe, God or whatever you choose to call the very alive universal energy that is in us and around us all the time.
Being a cowgirl, well that’s my way of saying I’m a totally practical person. Down to earth, I tell it like it is. And yes, I also need proof about anything before I believe in it. It’s hard to realize that a cowgirl could be a psychic, but my way of thinking is everyone has psychic abilities and can learn to foster them. Developing these abilities starts with learning to recognize your intuition, and start using it every day. I advise people to use their intuition on a boring, small potatoes way, every single day. Start simple.
I have a desire to help others by helping them get out of the chaos and the drama, and teaching them to use their intuition in simple, direct, everyday ways. I am very happy with my journey, and grateful to all those who came into my life as teachers and guides, even if they were unaware of it at the time. I hope to guide others, as a way to pay back the wonderful energy, friendship, and support I still receive along the way.