If you have been following my blog posts, you will know I struggled with changing a relationship with a platonic friend. Things seemed to be gloomy, the energy was sticky, dark, and stagnant. I knew I had to change things. Here are observations I had after getting out of his house, and meeting him outside, or at my house, or at a restaurant, or for a walk.
Once I felt I had enough time away from my friends house, I went back after a week. On my first visit back, his place felt so awful, so dark, so heavy, I don’t know how I could have stood being there. It was a sign—and a very obvious one—that I had made the right decision. From then on my once a week visit would be outside his home to avoid the huge energy drain.
My observation about this entire process is this: Another way to see something is to separate the place from the person. I cannot stand being in his house. He is delightful, but it was not worth the stuffed head I would get about 45 minutes after going there, and it happened many days in a row. Signs from my higher self that going to his house (and so often) was no longer a good idea. Another lesson in putting myself first. Which is hard for a person who likes to give. It made me feel quite selfish. But there was truth here I was uncovering. As if this lesson was repeating for one last time.
My observation made clear to me that separating the place from the person helped me realize it was not so much my friend, as my going to his place. It was my habit that needed changing. His place was so uncomfortable. I don’t know what changed, except to say my guides and The Universe (the Me), were sending a message in a very physical way. This was helping me shift gears. When lessons are looming, the thumb screws get tightened and it makes us very uncomfortable. So much so that we are moved to action. Try not to avoid these times, they are key to learning, growth, and insight.
Now that the change and shift has happened, we are both very happy with it. Life is clearer, brighter, happier, and more copacetic. I had been spending a lot of time cocooning at his place. I also was taking care of him way too much. Time to take my hands off the steering wheel. He’d be okay without my hovering help. It was time for me to get out and about!
I’m spending more time in the community, with other people, getting out there. It’s not a tour de force effort, but starting in small bits here and there. The energy has shifted and things are changing for the good! I have never wanted to end this friendship, just change it. Now things are better. Much better.
An additional insight is, it was never him that was the problem. Something IN ME told me a shift needed to happen. I needed to get my butt out there, meeting new people, finding joy in more situations. The way that manifested was through feeling a different sort of energy I did not like. It could not be ignored, and I knew it needed addressing. That was a lesson looming so I listened to the signals.
Weeks have gone by since starting this entry. I have a changed relationship with my friend we both greatly enjoy. I feel he does not need looking after so closely, and I can do what I need to for my own development. There is less of a parent/child relationship, and more of a relationship of mutual respect. As it should be.
If you have a situation that is making you uncomfortable, look for all the clues you can. Divide and conquer. Be a good detective. And certainly don’t throw the baby out with the bath water!
Comments are welcome. “Likes” tell me someone is listening. Love and Light, ❤ Patty