Okay, this is not a how-to guide for decluttering your home or environment, although I could certainly write an article about that. I was born to organize and declutter. However for almost two decades, I lived with a man who was a hoarder. At the time, I had no word for it. It started slowly and grew exponentially as our my spouse and the relationship fell out of center. Every room had a path through it that was about two feet wide. Boxes, clothing, computer pieces, camera parts, papers of all kinds and other assorted flotsam filled rooms to bursting. Sometimes up to the ceiling! There was no rhyme or reason to it, and none of the items had any use or value.I could not staunch the flow, no matter what I tried. I could hardly live like this and combatted it daily. It crept under my skin during the day, and practically exploded out of me at night. It was like a thing that lived with us that was evil. But my spouse would have a week long fit, exploding in rage, if I were so rude as to mention ‘the mess.’ He didn’t see it that way and he felt I was nagging and unfair to him. Apparently I was the bad guy in this scenario.
I begged to clean up on the weekends when we had time. He’d oblige, and then ten minutes into it he’d have this ‘great idea’ to go to the hardware store to get materials for building shelves. Shelves for more junk. Shelves to organize the junk. Or 30 large plastic tubs to store all the junk in. To this day I can’t stand the sight of those big blue plastic tubs. We would spend all day at the hardware store, come home, spend ten more minutes on cleaning and quit. Now not only was there a huge mess, but a mess of building materials on top of everything else clogging up one of the few free areas left to me.
When we moved to a small 350 square foot apartment in Manhattan, I thought for sure we’d downsize. He insisted we take everything. In his absence, I threw out as much as possible. When we arrived, it took two full days to unpack the largest moving van money could rent. It all went up inside my tiny, clean, perfect apartment. There were stacks of boxes now that stood almost 11 feet high! Again there were only small paths between them. Almost no place for a bed. Nothing changed most of the nine years we spent there. Needless to say, we rarely had company.
After Manhattan, we moved to New Mexico. Finally we had a piece of property and some room to stretch out! However the home soon filled up with junk. A second building filled up with junk, soon a third and then a fourth! He was working on a fifth when the marriage ended. I took photos to document this once, and had to throw out those photos. I felt they had terrible, stuck, disjointed energy to them. I could not imagine that there was a time in my life I allowed this. But it went hand in hand with a severely dysfunctional relationship.
The first Christmas holiday break after we separated, I planned on cleaning out one of the buildings that was choked with junk. I spent two decades looking forward to a clean and uncluttered life. I figured, hey I have ten days off. Let’s clean this up. If I am lucky, that will take several days and I can enjoy the holidays. The first day of vacation came. I propped the door open and started my task, happy to finally be doing something about the clutter monster. I played tunes and had cold beverages on hand. My dogs sat outside and watched as box after box came sailing out! I filled a 4x8x3 trailer many times over and carted many large contractor sized garbage bags to the dump. I had a bonfire of boxes and paper. In one day I had all of it cleaned out. The transformation was amazing!
That night I could not sleep. In fact, I could not sleep for three whole days despite my intense physical exhaustion. This was not like a caffeine buzz or high excitement. It was energy on a whole new level I had not experienced before. It was energy on a much higher level, but very steady. I liked it! I knew this was energy from Source. This energy releasing did not happen just once. This same high energy came every single time I cleaned out an area where items were hoarded. In fact, any time I clean out an area of whatever, this energy comes through. Over many of these experiences, it came to me that objects—stuff—has energy and holds energy. Items can hold onto energy and trap it. This was a huge revelation to me and my understanding of how the Universe works. Once you move or get rid of the items, the energy is no longer stuck. Especially places that are chaotic and jumbled. With most of the places I cleaned out, the energy came bursting out of the ground, stuck no longer. In large beautiful waves. Whenever this happens and I can’t sleep, I am thankful for the extra time and in gratitude for the change.
Now my property and home are well kept and I try and keep possessions to a minimum. Every six months I clean out the one remaining building. (I tore down all the others.) If I feel an urge to suddenly clean up or reorganize a part of my living space, I do it. I know it will shift energy. And I know there is a higher purpose in it, because I know these urges come from Source. This was a very big realization for me, and a huge shift in my understanding of how energy works, and how it is a big part of the Universal Flow of energy and matter. I pay very close attention to all forms of energy on a day-to-day basis using my intuition. This knowledge, awareness and experience helps to guide my life. A life of co-creation with all that is.
Please share any stories you have about shifting energy, items holding energy, or dealing with chaos and clutter. I’m all ears!