What does that mean, to be the space for something or someone? For me, it means detaching from the drama, the chaos, and the emotionality of what is unfolding. It also means to hold space for what is occurring to let things be for the highest good for all concerned, without your personal bias. It’s on an energetic, vibe level that you are holding space. That’s holding space or being the space for something or someone.
Being the space for two people, let’s say two good friend who are arguing, would be to detach emotionally, stay present, send love and don’t hope for any particular outcome. Remain neutral as possible while supporting the space for this to occur. It is very important to make sure you are not biased in the outcome whatsoever. Make sure it is for the highest good of all concerned.
That’s a little phrase I was taught long ago (for the highest good of all concerned), that often comes in handy. If you have to stay in the room, or if leaving would seem egoic, fearful or would disrupt things in any way, stay. Just remember to detach, even step back a little, hands at your side, remaining emotionally neutral, sending love.
It’s more than being neutral though. Even though I really stress your emotional neutrality, you are holding a space for the people involved to do their thing. The outcome is not yours to dictate, so the best thing to do is be the space for them to do what needs to be done. It’s a way of sending the best kind of love possible. Universal love. Love for what is happening, even if it seems like it’s a screaming match going on in front of you. Maybe there is something in it that each person needs to experience or express. It’s not for you to judge what is ‘good’ for one person or the other.
Try it next time you are in a group setting, be it a dinner with friends, a meeting at work, or a public setting. I have only felt a real need to do this several times in my life, but was I glad I held the space for others instead of get involved, taking sides, or adding my opinion to the argument. Things seemed to flow easier, to be more genuine when I held space for others. Any time you hold a good energy for the group and deliberately hold back from being involved, you bring the good energy of the event up for everyone involved, making for a bit calmer seas all around.
I learned this from many sources, but I recall Eckhart Tolle talking about this in his books and in a video. It’s called I can be the space for this. He’s much more eloquent than I am and he may be talking more about being spacious in consciousness for the greater good at all times. In this post I’m specifically talking about doing it on behalf of others. It’s a great way to learn about holding space or being the space for…. My posts are meant to get you started or interested enough in a topic to research and experience it yourself. But Tolle also has a great sense of humor and is always worth a listen.
Please use the comments section for questions or commentary on your own experience for holding the space for others.